Law:The "Aarrrrgh, Mateys" Act
35RZ30 — The "Aarrrrgh, Mateys" Act
WHEREAS In the hallowed words of the Organic Law, “The Kingdom of Talossa is a community of persons having fun by doing things which are reasonably similar to what other (‘real’) countries do”, and
WHEREAS Other countries sometimes issue letters of marque and reprisal, and
WHEREAS The whole concept of Talossan privateering has a Talossan Coolness Factor that’s right out the roof,
THEREFORE the Ziu hereby enacts that:
- The Seneschál, acting by and through the Bureau of the Navy, or the Ministry of Defense, or whatever other office or organ of the Kingdom seems to him most appropriate, is hereby authorized and encouraged to issue letters of marque and reprisal to Talossan citizens who have, or who can obtain (by means which need not be looked into too closely) the use of private naval vessels of whatever draft, displacement, or description. Copies of such letters shall be provided to the Royal Archivist to be placed by him in, duh, the Royal Archives. In particular, the Ziu calls on the Seneschál to issue at his earliest convenience letters of marque and reprisal to Captain Nic Scofield of the armed sloop Piranha.
- Such letters shall authorize their possessors (to be hereafter known as “Private Adventurers”) to prey upon the commerce and naval forces of the enemies of Talossa, for the good of the Kingdom and for their own profit, edification, and entertainment. Should any Private Adventurer, in the course of his duties, succumb to the ever-present temptation to prey a bit on neutral shipping, or otherwise fail scrupulously to observe the niceties of legally prosecuted naval warfare, the Kingdom, its agents, and its courts shall chuckle indulgently and turn a blind eye. Should any Private Adventurer, in the course of his duties, run afoul of the authorities or forces of any other nation, the Kingdom of Talossa will extend to him and to his crew the Invincible Moral Support of the Talossan people, up to and including bribery, arranged jailbreaks, diversionary attacks, and diplomatic initiatives.
- Each Private Adventurer, among his other patriotic and self-serving duties, shall be required to report to the nation, from time to time, regarding the success or lack thereof of his intended predations.
- Furthermore, each Private Adventurer shall, as far as shall be convenient, enroll volunteer Talossan citizens as either actual or honorary crew members, and shall provide to the Kingdom’s authorities for use on the website and on Wittenberg, photographs (and movies would be way cool, too), both of his vessel and of himself and his crew dressed and equipped (as far as is deemed possible and convenient) in such picturesque accoutrements as red bandana, eyepatch, gold earring, leather vest, parrot, hook, snickersnee, cutlass, canvas trousers, peg leg, and incredibly filthy foot or feet.
- Each Private Adventurer shall take care to instruct himself and his crew in correct professional deportment, making didactic use of such authoritative texts and films as Treasure Island, Captain Blood, Swashbuckler, and Peter Pan. In particular, should any Private Adventurer, in the course of his duties, encounter the fiery-tempered black-haired daughter of the Spanish governor, He Will Know What To Do.
- Each Private Adventurer and crew member shall select for himself, and shall in the prosecution of his duties make use of, some pseudonym such as (but not limited to) “Cap’n Blaknar”, “Swidge”, “Poet”, “Old Sharkey”, “Long Tom”, “Cookie”, or “Dobbins”.
Ureu q’estadra så:
John Woolley, aka "Black Mike" (Senator, Florenciâ)