Cone Wars

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The Cone Wars (Talossan: Las Zuerias Coneschti) represent Talossa's only "military" engagement, a victory of the young nation over the Glib Room Empire of Xheralt Conâ (Gary Cone).


The earliest stages of the conflict arose in September of 1980, when Conâ was fired as Talossan Ambassador to the United States, in a fallout regarding his religion and political affiliation. Conâ was accused by King Robert I of "lying about his religion" when Conâ, a self described atheist, was later found to be a Methodist. Moreover, Robert I was infuriated when he discovered that Conâ was a supporter of U.S. President Ronald Reagan, a man whom the King detested. Claiming the affair to be Talossa's first "political scandal", Robert removed Conâ from his position.

Irritated by what he viewed as an irrational action, Conâ renounced his Talossan citizenship and formed his own secessionist state, the Glib Room Empire, in protest of Robert's actions. Viewing the Glib Room Empire as illegitimate, Robert and his allies regularly insulted Conâ, which resulted in a climactic event during which Conâ purportedly said, "You have incurred my wrath, vengence is mine, sayeth the Lord!" This declaration, in turn, resulted in a supposedly large group "gathering to laugh at Conâ", although these claims are largely viewed as an exaggeration on the part of Robert.

Declaration of War

Angered by Robert's aggressive actions, Conâ retaliated by targeting Robert's younger sister Princess Jennifer for torment and abuse. Regarding this action as defiant and uncalled for, Robert responded with a formal declaration of war upon the Glib Room Empire. Art Verbotten, then Head of State of the Kingdom of Thord soon followed in Robert's actions.

Battle of the Garage

The war reached its climax on 24 November 1980, when Conâ vandalized Robert's house and subsequently admitted his guilt to a secret informant of Robert, Ian von Metairia. Von Metairia sent this information to Robert, and through a series of communications, Conâ was ultimately found guilty by American mediators and forced to surrender. After signing a peace treaty with Talossa on 25 November 1980, Conâ was forced to repair damages made to Talossan territory on the "first blizzard of winter".


Robert I created the Order of the Cone War Campaigns, and created Ian von Metairia a knight of that order for his service.

Conâ and Robert I eventually reconciled and Conâ became a citizen of Talossa in 1997.