Ma la Mha

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Baron Hooligan (2010)

Ma Ups Patritz la Mha (Manus Joseph Patrick Hand, b. 19 March 1964), Count of Florencia and known commonly as Baron Hooligan, is a former three-term Seneschal of the Kingdom of Talossa.

Hooligan is a citizen of Florencia province. A three-term Seneschal, he has also served as Distain, Scribe of Abbavilla and in the College of Arms, first as a Fellow, then as Columcille Pursuivant, and presently as Rouge Lobster Herald and Squirrel King of Arms.

Early Citizenship

A personal friend (since 1991) of John Woolley, who had become a Talossan citizen in early 2005, la Mha was pestered incessantly by Woolley to create a Website for the Kingdom, as its Web presence had been lost to it through the events of 2004 that created the Talossan Republic. La Mha resisted as long as he could, finally agreeing to create the requested Website simply to get Woolley off his back about it. Aggravatingly, as a side-effect of the creation of the Website, he learned much about Talossa and soon realised that Talossa was indeed as cool as Woolley had claimed it to be. Against his better judgment, la Mha found himself embracing the idea of becoming Talossan.

La Mha became a citizen of Talossa on 12 July 2005/XXVI. He has the distinction of being the final person to have been given his Talossan-language name by King Robert I.

Political Career

To date, the July 2005 and August 2005 Clarks are the only two Clarks since his citizenship in which la Mha did not serve in the Ziu.

At the time of la Mha's immigration, both the party in power (the Black Hand party, or "MN") and the opposition (the Conservative Loyalist Party, or "CLP") actively sought la Mha's support in the upcoming election. The two parties were fiercely adversarial, and the growth of the CLP eventually led King Robert I to abdicate in August. Robert's renunciation was followed by that of Prime Minister Marcus Cantaloûr, and after the resulting constitutional crisis, Fritz von Buchholtz was appointed to act as Seneschal, and asked la Mha to serve as Distain.

Formation of the RUMP

Despite the departure of its leader, who continued, through those who remained, to manipulate affairs in the Kingdom as a non-citizen, the MN remained a powerful party, though its hopes for being returned to office for the 35th Cosa seemed faint.

As an attempt to provide a party that would serve as a conciliating influence on the MN and CLP, la Mha, along with Cresti Siervicül and Xhorxh Unamind, founded the RUMP political party on 27 September 2005. Urging that "Talossa should be fun", the RUMP (which originally stood for the "Random Unilateral Movement Party", result of an initial hunt for an alcoholic acronyms, culminating in the choice of Unamind's "RUM") adopted as its motto "We are the Present" as a humorous take on the CLP's "We are the future".

The RUMP contested the elections to the 35th Cosa, finishing second behind the CLP. The MN's viability as a party was at an end, as many of the MN voters either ended their participation in the Kingdom or had switched their allegiance to the CLP or the King Ben Party. The RUMP was essentially in coalition with the CLP, and la Mha was asked to continue serving as Distain.

At the request of von Buchholtz, la Mha acted as Prime Minister while the Seneschal was hopitalised for a month during his term in office.

Elevation to the Peerage and Senator for Vuode

La Mha became a member of the 35th Cosa, but assigned himself only a single seat of the 47 won by his party in anticipation of an appointment to the Senate. This anticipation was due to the fact that by the end of the 34th Cosa, the activity level of Francesco Felici (Senator for Cézembre) and Brook Pànetâ (Senator for Florencia) had been impossible for anyone but King Robert I to discern, and the votes of these two Senators were long thought by many to have been provided for them by the King, who also served as Secretary of State. With the abdication of Robert I, the failure of these two Senators to vote in the first two Clarks of the 35th Cosa was anticipated. As both Queen Amy (who served as Senator for Vuode) and Cantaloûr (who served as Senator for Atatürk) had renounced their citizenships, the vacancy of the Cézembrean and Florencian seats would leave the Senate with only three seats occupied. Thus, appointments would need to be made to provide the Senate with a quorum of at least four members for the then-seven provinces.

Given the Organic requirement then in place that no person could serve in the Senate without having held citizenship for two years or being a member of the peerage, no eligible Talossan could be identified under the first requirement, so la Mha was granted a barony by the Regent of King Louis on 20 September 2005/XXVI. When the two Senate seats did in fact vacate as expected, la Mha resigned from the Cosa (though this was not at the time required) and assumed the vacant Vuodean Senate seat beginning with the third Clark of the 35th Cosa.

Thus, while la Mha's work to create a new Web presence for the Kingdom was cited in the elevation to the peerage, the grant was pragmatic in nature, and made primarily so that a quorum could be formed in the Senate.

As la Mha was the first peer ever created by a Talossan monarch, protocol for peerage was new. The College of Arms determined that a barony would consist of single city block within metropolitan Talossa, to be chosen by the elevated peer. La Mha chose for his barony the smallest city block in the nation, part through humility and part because that block, within his home province of Florencia, contains Hooligan's Super Bar, a Talossan landmark where Prime Minister J. Harrison Wosniak had been inaugurated into office.

Senator for Cézembre

In the elections to the 36th Cosa, the CLP was returned to the majority, and the new Seneschal, Samuhel Tecladeir, asked Hooligan to continue his service as Distain.

After the 35th Cosa, an amendment to Organic Law shortening the citizenship requirement for voting in the Senate from two years to one (and removing all requirements of citizenship tenure for holding a Senate seat) was ratified. Accordingly, la Mha resigned as Senator for Vuode so that a citizen of that province (Sir Trotxâ Betiñéir, who had been serving without voting as Senator for Cézembre), and who would meet the tenure requirement to vote in the Senate after the first Clark of that Cosa, could be appointed to its seat. The two Senators each resigned, and each were appointed to the other's seats by the executive officer of the respective provinces.

La Mha served as Senator for Cézembre through the 36th Cosa, resigning thereafter to allow the appointment of Nikü Spyropoulos, a Cézembrean citizen who became eligible to serve in the Senate, and also as la Mha felt that a Seneschal (the office to which he would be appointed) should serve in the Cosa and not the Senate.


Baron Hooligan after taking the Seneschal's oath of office

During the 36th Cosa, a number of CLP voters came to disagree with the position of their party on the disposition of the throne after the abdication of Louis left it vacant. CLP leadership favoured leaving the throne vacant until an Old Growth citizen or (a theoretically repentant and reformed) Robert I himself would accept it, while the RUMP favoured following the provisions of Organic Law to promptly elect a new King. This shift of political winds not only brought the RUMP to power in the 37th Cosa, but precipitated the surprise declaration of the dissolution of the CLP by von Buchholtz.

Due to these developments, the RUMP assumed the majority in the elections and la Mha was appointed to serve as Seneschal for the 37th Cosa. He was sworn into office in the presence of the King and other Talossans at Rock Bottom Brewery in Centennial, Colorado in the United States, with the oath given to him via telephone by Cresti Siervicül, Puisne Justice of the Uppermost Court.

One of the primary goals of la Mha's administration during the 37th Cosa was the reformation of the Organic Law and the stabilisation of royal succession laws, viewed as a crucial move by many citizens following the crisis caused by the abdication of King Louis. Additional projects included the establishment of the Royal Bank & Post, as well as the specifications of standards for the creation of coinage and postage.

When the RUMP was returned to the majority for the 38th Cosa, Hooligan was reappointed and served a second term. La Mha and his party were re-elected due to the success of his first term and his considerable popularity within the Kingdom. During the 38th Cosa, the Kingdom enjoyed a peaceful and stable government, allowing for a slew of legislation to be passed. His more notable achievements during the 38th Cosa included the establishment of the Talossan Bureau of Space Exploration and Rocketry, an initiative establishing bedposts as the official improvised weapon of the Zouaves of the Royal Bodyguard, and reform regarding previously vague regency policies.

Return to Distain

With the RUMP winning another majority in the 39th Cosa, and despite continual support from the public, la Mha was determined to step down, with his party jokingly accusing him of being responsible for the 'miserable defeat' that failed to 'regain his party's minority status in the Cosa'. In a attempt (which has been termed misguided at best) to persuade the Talossan Republic that a warm welcome from the Kingdom was assured for any and all former citizens who returned to the Kingdom, the baron nominated the returned Republican Ieremiac'h Ventrutx as his successor, and Ventrutx took office on the recommendation of the RUMP on 23 October 2008.

Ventrutx asked Hooligan to serve as his Distain, a position he also was asked to take by the RUMP's Prime Ministers who followed, Iustì Canun, Alexander Davis, and the two terms of Litz Cjantscheir. In this position, he served on the Kingdom's Commission for Reunision, and was instrumental in providing accommodations to ensure the success of that effort, particularly acceptance of the earliest date of citizenship in either the Kingdom or the Republic to be recognised as the first date of Talossanity for all Talossan citizens.

Throughout his service as Distain (and indeed while Prime Minister), Hooligan oversaw all immigration operations for the Kingdom, and was almost always the first Talossan with whom prospective immigrants would converse.

Reappointment as Seneschal

In the elections to the 44th Cosa, the RUMP took a bare majority of 108 of the 200 Cosa seats, and Hooligan was recommended to serve as Prime Minister. He was sworn in on 20 July 2012 by the King personally in a ceremony Webcast from the Spotted Dog tavern in Lone Tree, Colorado in the United States.

On 8 September 2012, during TalossaFest, King John elevated Hooligan to Count of Florencia in extraordinary honours.

On 12 December 2012, citing outside commitments including a death in the family that had been preventing him from dedicating himself to the duties of his office, Hooligan resigned as Seneschal in favour of his Distain, Çesli da Chisleu.

Florencian Politics

Fl flag.jpg

La Mha has been involved in Florencian politics since his earliest days as a Talossan. He designed the current flag of the province, and, frustrated by the inaction of the Nimlet to consider the proposal, fulfilled his pledge to (as RUMP party leader) appoint himself the majority of the seats in the next Nimlet, and thus passed the measure without opposition. He also saw himself elected Governor of the province, and drafted the current Constitution of Florencia. He held the post of Governor held until returning to the Prime Ministership in 2012, arranging that he be succeeded at Governor by Pôl d'Aurìbuérg.

Service to the Royal House

Scribe of Abbavilla


Service in the College of Arms


Other Involvement in Talossan Affairs

Website Creation and Maintenance


The Talossan Language

Hooligan has been interested in the Talossan language since becoming a citizen, his interest and knowledge fueled by discussions with his friend, the King. To this end, Hooligan joined the Committee for the Use of the Talossan Language (CÚG) and assisted in the research and work that led to the recognition of orthographic changes in the Arestada of 2007.

Following that effort, and as one reason for his decision not to seek appointment to a third consecutive term as Seneschal, Hooligan devoted himself to the effort that resulted in the 2008 publication of the first edition of his Ün Guizua Compläts àl Glheþ Talossan ("A Complete Guide to the Talsosan Language").

He serves as current President of the CÚG, and led the effort to create the multilingual Website of the Committee,

Hooligan was involved in the formation of the Association of Talossan Language Organisations meant to provide a common body in which the CUG and the Icastolâ of the Talossan Republic could discuss and coordinate efforts. Working from an online class on the language that he taught at the University of Talossa, he created the content of the ATLO's Website

He has translated numerous non-Talossan texts into Talossan, and has also written many original works in the Talossan language, notably his Christmas carol In Nazareþ, which was set to music by his sister Laura Donahue.

Talossan Opera


Talossan Football


Interests and Hobbies


Hooligan became a devoted fan of the boardgame "Diplomacy" during high school, and in 1991 discovered the game being played online over the Internet, a pastime about which he informed his friend John Woolley (and other coworkers). Frustrated by the fact that the flagship postal "zine" of the Diplomacy gameplay hobby ("Diplomacy World") was apparently out of print, and therefore unable to publish the article he had written about a Diplomacy variant that he and Woolley had created ("Payola Diplomacy"), Hooligan created, in 1995, The Diplomatic Pouch, the world's (or at least the Diplomacy hobby's) first Webzine. Expanding over time from a magazine to a multi-purpose Website devoted to Diplomacy, The Pouch became the worldwide homepage of the Diplomacy gameplay hobby. Hooligan created the DPjudge, an Internet-and-email Diplomacy gameplay system, and continues to oversee this now multi-server, multi-site network as an Open Source project.

Long involved in the face-to-face Diplomacy hobby, Hooligan has travelled the world, from Europe to Australia, to play in World Championships (being a member of the 1997 World Championship Team and coming fifth individually in the 2001 individual World Championship). He has won many regional tournaments and placed highly in others. In 2002 he hosted the U.S. Diplomacy Championship and in 2003 he conducted the World Diplomacy Convention and Championship in Denver, Colorado. With his involvement in Talossa, Hooligan's involvement in the Diplomacy community has lessened, but he runs Diplomacy games and tournaments for Talossan citizens, using a Talossan-language game map that he created.


During college, Hooligan was a member of a garage band named "The New Civilezation" [sic., the misspelling in the band's name due to the drummer's ignorance of English and the fact that he painted the drum-set while without guidance from other members of the band, like Hooligan]. Hooligan was lead singer of the group, and he wrote or contributed lyrics to the great majority of the group's songs, and played keyboards. He also played guitar and drums on some of the group's numbers. The band played for collegiate audiences and achieved local radio airplay with their song "Beer for Lunch", which was then rechristened "Beer for Lunch (The Hit)".

Since that time, he has dabbled in original musical compositions.


Hooligan enjoys reading mystery and espionage novels, and spends not enough time on two long-unfinished novels (The Dead Man's Game, a comedic baseball story inspired by a discussion between Hooligan and the King, and The Letter of the Law, a courtroom and police mystery).

Personal Life

Hooligan was born in Hawthorne (Los Angeles), California to James Francis and Sharon Ann (Ryan) Hand, both raised in Casper, Wyoming, and who relocated from California in 1967 to Laramie, Wyoming. There, Hooligan and his six younger sisters were raised. His parents and four of his sisters and their family still reside there. Three of his six sisters, each with members of their family, have embraced Talossanity (Çelís del Þeracour, Aladna la Mha-Coca, and Aspra Laira.

He graduated from Laramie High School in 1982. His senior portrait shows that Hooligan was not always bald, and that indeed in his younger days, he had shoulder-length brownish-blond hair.

He graduated from the University of Wyoming in 1988, receiving a Bachelor of Science degree in Computer Science with a double-minor in Mathematics and English. During college, he had taken two years off from his studies, living and working in Phoenix, Arizona.

After his 1991 marriage, Hooligan entered the Masters program in Computer Science at Colorado State. He worked at a telecommunications software company (where he first met King John in 1991) from 1988 to 1997, leaving to form a company to provide software and network services to large credit unions. This company was later subsumed by another, where Hooligan is still employed as Software Applications Architect.

He resides in Parker, Colorado with his wife of 21 years, his daughter, his college-going son, and his daughter's infant son.


Preceded by
Dame Litz Cjantscheir
19 July 2012/XXXIII - 12 December 2012/XXXIII
Succeeded by
Çesli da Chilseu
Preceded by
Samuhel Tecladeir
18 April 2007/XXVIII - 23 October 2008/XXIX
Succeeded by
Ieremiac'h Ventrutx
Preceded by
Constable for Maricopa
TBD - Present
Succeeded by
Preceded by
Trotxâ Betiñéir
Senator for Cézembre
36th Cosa - Dissolution of the 36th Cosa
Succeeded by
Nikü Spyropoulos
Preceded by
Queen Amy
Senator for Vuode
35th Cosa (Clark 3) - Dissolution of the 35th Cosa
Succeeded by
Sir Trotxâ Betiñéir
Preceded by
Sir Trotxâ Betiñéir
Squirrel King of Arms
20 April 2012/XXXIII - Present
Succeeded by
Preceded by
Marc Moisan
Scribe of Abbavilla
31 August 2005/XXVI - 19 April 2007/XXVIII
Succeeded by
Olaf Brainerd
Preceded by
Ieremiac'h Ventrutx
Governor of Florencia
(TBD) - 1 August 2012
Succeeded by
Pôl d'Aurìbuérg
Member of Cosa 35th  37th  38th  39th  40th     41st  42nd  43rd  44th