User talk:Miestra/The New Talossan History Project

Welcome to all members of the New Talossan History Project!

I've asked a Wiki bureaucrat to restrict editing of this page to people who are members of the NTHP. If you want to discuss edits, you can do so here or on the NTHP thread on the Royal Society board on Witt.

Miestra (talk) 02:07, 7 August 2020 (UTC)

NPOV

GV began this project as his "personal Talossan autobiography", but I believe we should adopt the principle of NPOV (neutral point of view). What do others think? Miestra (talk) 03:42, 7 August 2020 (UTC)

AD's deleted "History Project" (possible source material?)

I.

El Regipäts Talossan is a temperate country in North America. It is bordered on three sides by the United States of America, and on the east by the Mar Talossan – the Talossan Sea. The boundary between the north of Talossa and the American city of Shorewood, Wisconsin, is the street known as Edgewood Avenue. To the west and south, the border of Talossa is defined by the gentle curves of the graceful Milwaukee River as it empties into the Mar Talossan (known to Americans as “Lake Michigan”). Across the river lies the American city of Milwaukee, long known for courteous relations with Talossa. Talossa also incorporates the lush island of Cezembre, located off the coast of France in Europe, and lays claim to a broad swath of polar Antarctica.

Historically, much of the topography of mainland Talossa has been formed by ancient glaciers. During the last ice age of the Earth, most of northern North America was blanketed with these massive ice sheets. They advanced and retreated regularly, carving out the land underneath them as they did so and reshaping it with their huge weight. The last such glacier swept over Talossan territory about ten thousand years ago, channeling through the lowlands of the nearby lakes (including the Mar Talossan). The departing glacier left behind piles of rocks and pebbles scraped into ridges (known as moraines), and remain in many places today as the bluffs that line the seashore.[vi] The area of Talossa was once heavily forested, but the greenery mostly gave way to the developing city of what was then known as East Milwaukee and is only partially recreated in modern Talossan parks such as Lake Park.

Talossa has four very distinct seasons, with temperature and precipitation varying widely over the year. Due to the presence of the Mar Talossan, there is a heavier snowfall every year than is experienced by many other inland areas, but in the summer the heat can be both luxurious and intimidating. It is not uncommon for it to rain throughout the year; nor are ice storms and tornadoes completely unknown.

Talossan territory is divided into different provinces, whose shape has changed (sometimes dramatically) over the years but which have been settled in the present configuration for some time. While one province, Vuode, has been a part of the national territory since the founding of Talossa, the territory of the others was annexed in later years. All but two of the current provinces date from the fifth year of the Kingdom or before; Florencia was created in the seventeenth year from part of Benito’s territory, in response to citizen demand, while Fiova was created as part of Reunision (the union of the Republic of Talossa and the Kingdom of Talossa). The names of provinces have been fluid at times.

The borders of the mainland provinces adhere to the borders of the individual census blocks designated by the United States for the area during the time when it was U.S. territory. These blocks (census tracts 73-76, 108-113, and 153) were already conveniently allocated and had been dissected statistically by the departing United States government, and so during the Cantonization of 11/30/1984/V they were used as the basis for province borders. Minor deviations were fixed ten years later, and this tradition is still generally true today, making the business of collecting data on residents much easier on the resource-light Talossan government, since the U.S. government still kindly administers and analyzes census data for the area.

It is important to note that – unlike some other countries – Talossa was a single nation that was divided into provinces. While many of them (particularly Vuode) have flirted with secession, they are completely and indivisibly part of Talossa. All Talossans, no matter how proud of their province, have a common heritage and are united in their nation.

II.

“[T]he Talossan people are inexplicably and inextricably connected somehow to Berbers,” reads Talossan law.[vii] And inexplicably and inextricably, it’s true. While it was once simply a blatant attempt at mythmaking by Robert I, in an attempt to distinguish Talossan history from that of the United States of America[viii], it can’t be denied that most Talossans think the Berber people – a light-skinned North African group – are interesting and cool. And in Talossa, that’s how traditions become fact.[ix] Thus, in some mysterious sense, the ancient Berber tribes are the ancestors of the modern Talossan people, and every Talossan should study them in at least some small way to understand an ancient heritage.

The ancient Berber people occupied much of North Africa, and their direct descendents populate much of the countries of Morocco and Algeria. They spoke the Berber language, written with a variety of alphabets over the years. As a predominantly coastal people they absorbed much of the influences of seafarers such as the Phoenicians and Greeks. They were especially prominent in history at such times as the Second Punic War of the third century B.C., when their powerful cavalry performed outstandingly well when allied with Carthage against Rome, and during the Islamization and empire building in Africa the seventh to tenth centuries A.D. that set up powerful Berber caliphates.[x]

Importantly for Talossa, the Berbers were also great travelers. It is widely believed by historians that they had cultural and genetic influence upon most of the peoples of Europe. And because Talossa is located in an area settled predominantly by European peoples, this means that there is at least one verifiable link between Berbers and Talossa.[xi]

While this might be a solid connection, rather bolder and more tenuous was Robert I’s further claim in his 1996 The Berber Project that the Berber people later became the Beaker people of ancient Europe, and then navigated the Atlantic Ocean five thousand years ago, populating North America and transforming into the indigenous Mound-Builders of the Talossan area. He argued that “around 3000 B.C., North America was indeed treated to a large and substantial wave of Berber immigrants who brought their culture with them when they settled around the copper mines of Lake Superior and northern Wisconsin.”

Robert I also pointed out that “Talossa” resembles the word “talayot,” the ancient Beaker civilization’s name for their hutlike dwellings. Robert I claimed that this connection was evidence for a link between the ancient Beaker culture and Talossa. He also listed a whole host of indigenous North American words that sound similar to either “Talossa” or “talayot” (“tuy,” “talo,” “tell”) and indicated that this was also strong evidence for substantial Berber influence.[xii]

The Berber-ish Mound-Builders and other indigenous inhabitants of the Talossan area were supplanted by immigrants from abroad (particularly Germany), and the city known as Milwaukee was founded and grew into a thriving metropolis. There were wars and all manner of American history, in fact. But it wasn’t until 1979 A.D. that Talossa’s history really began.

B. Dictatür Atx (1979-1981)

“You can’t change Milwaukee, you can’t leave Milwaukee: So secede from Milwaukee!” Robert Ben Madison

Founding

Jean Madison died suddenly, on February 1st, 1979.[xiii] She was not yet forty years old. Left behind were her family: Her husband, Harry. Her daughter, Jennifer. And her troubled son, Robert Ben Madison, who would go on to found Talossa later that year.

Robert had not been untroubled before her mother’s death, to be sure. Many other influences probably led to his impulse to create a nation:

   He was often tormented in his Milwaukee high school by bullies for being a fan of science fiction and what he called “quietly nerdy.” Often, he was simply lonely.
   He found America to be corrupt and vile, with a reprehensible history and a language that inspired conflicts and other violence[xiv]. He strongly admired European nations like Denmark and Finland for their grand histories and peaceful ways.
   Like many emerging adolescents, his politics were as changeable as the wind and led to many impassioned essays about the evils of capitalism. a

But Robert would later imply that it was the tragedy of Jean’s sudden death that prompted a search for what he called a “perfect world.” It is an understandable impulse. He would later describe an exact moment of conception for the idea of Talossa, claiming that inspiration struck him while reading about the constructed language “Esperanto” in the downtown Milwaukee library.

But it is best when simply said: Robert Ben Madison, a 14-year-old Milwaukee boy, founded Talossa at seven in the evening on December 26th, 1979/I. Upon reading a proclamation of secession from the United States to an audience of his family and his friend Gary Cone (recognized as U.S. Ambassador), and crowning himself with a hat bought in a secondhand store, he assumed the role of King Robert I of the House of Rourgue, founder and first monarch of the Kingdom of Talossa.

The first tradition of Talossa was the flag, presented at the Founding. Originally white, red, and green, this proved too similar to other flags and two years later became the simple bicoleur of green-over-red that we know today.[xv]

A second tradition was the national motto, also present at the Founding. “A man’s room is his kingdom” was written in poor Finnish[xvi] despite the Norwegian “national language” of the time. This motto, partially humorous, was an adaptation of a still-common saying in the area, “A man’s home is his castle.”[xvii]

Immediately after the founding, a third tradition of Talossan journalism began when Robert I decreed the existence of “Støtannet,” the official state newspaper. a This would subsequently be known as “Støtanneu,” and would be infrequently printed but nonetheless the longest-running journal of opinion in the nation’s history.

As Robert I describes the first moments in Ár Päts: the Rise and Fall of the Kingdom of Talossa:

   “Independence Day was 26 December 1979. At 7:00 PM, the King’s family assembled at his Prospect Avenue home, where the Talossan flag was draped across the coffee table. Ben’s friend Gary L. Cone, whom Talossa recognized as the US Ambassador, entered the room. Next came Robert Ben Madison, in the blue suit he wore to debate meets, done up with paper medals and ribbons. For a crown, he carried an ancient blue Milwaukee fire department dress hat he bought at a used bookstore for $3.00. A friend called it the ‘Romanian train conductor’s hat.’ Madison read a brief speech (since lost) about his new nation. Then, in his first official act, this High School sophomore read a Declaration of Independence officially proclaiming Talossa’s secession from the United States. Fastening the blue hat upon his head, he was transformed into His Royal Majesty, King Robert I of the Kingdom of Talossa, and a bedroom on the second floor of an American house became a free, sovereign, and independent nation, as champagne toasts were enjoyed downstairs. “The Kingdom was first ruled as a ‘democratic dictatorship’ by its only citizen, King Robert. His Constitution in its entirety proclaimed: ‘ARTICLE ONE: All power of law, finance and anything else is vested in the King. ARTICLE TWO: This constitution is perfect and shall have no need of amendment.’”

Within this first month of Talossa, Robert I proposed a plan he called “World Singular Secession”: everyone, he thought, should become their own country. The exact aims of this plan are obscure, but given the boy-King’s contrarian nature, it is certain that the simple notion of massive change would have been sufficient impetus. World Singular Secession proved to be a non-starter, although it did inspire a few imitators of Talossa and some element of ideology to the movement.[xviii] In these early years, it was the sheer youth of the founder, monarch, and sole citizen of Talossa that led to violent and meaningless change – often only change for its own sake. Sometimes Robert I would shift the national culture or announce new policies in imitation of a new personal idol. Oddly, this quiet and creative boy seemed to have a marked penchant for admiring violent extremists, perhaps for their force of personality. In the first month of Talossa’s existence, for example, Robert I deposed himself and created a “Communist People’s Republic” a in imitation of Enver Hoxha, the communist dictator of Albania.[xix] The following month, Robert I reinstated himself without ceremony, but less than a year later again deposed himself and declared Talossa to be a republic, now in imitation of Mustafa Atatürk, the revolutionary leader of Turkey and Robert I’s new hero. Again, he reinstated himself without ceremony. The only lasting legacy of this boyhood changeability is modern Atatürk province; "Enver Hoxha Province" is thankfully defunct.

Cone War Period

A traditional label including a span of two months, the Cone War Period comprises all of the first foreign interactions of Talossa - the actual war itself lasted only a week. The influence of the World Singular Secession philosophy combined with a personal conflict with Gary Cone to lead to the Cone War Period, a brief and boyish time in the country.

During this first year of Talossa, Robert I and his friend Gary Cone had a serious falling-out. Robert I was an outspoken liberal atheist, while Cone was a conservative Christian. When Cone’s leanings caused an argument, they broke as friends and Robert I fired Gary Cone from his post as United States Ambassador. Gary Cone reacted predictably to his ousting, founding his own new country: the Glib Room Empire. Støtanneu took a stance against the new micronation, surprising no one.