User:Miestra/The New Talossan History Project
A Very Short History of Talossa
by Gödafrïeu Válcadac’h
Originally published 4 August 2020 by Oraclâ Press
Updated 6 August 2020 by GV
edited by the New Talossan History Project
[photo coming soon]
Ben Madison in 2003 during Talossa-Fest ~ Photo by Chirisch Cavéir
Introduction
Talossa is a make-believe country founded in 1979 by Robert Ben Madison of Milwaukee, Wisconsin on 26 December 1979. In advance of a much-more detailed commentary on Talossan history from before its beginnings through Reunision in 2012, I hope this provisional account will suffice.
This document will also serve as my provisional Talossan autobiography, and it is written with Talossan-name translations according to the 8th Edition of the Talossan Book of Names.
Robert Ben Madison was born in 1965 in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Hêrí Donatüs and his wife, Ivanâ Préiriâ. Ben has traced his ancestry to French aristocracy from the 13th Century, 'confirming' his ancient 'Talossan' ancestry. His 'scholarly findings' on Talossa's mythical Berber heritage may be had by way of his book, The Berber Project, the latest edition of which we in the Kingdom has dating to the year 2000. The entire thing is tongue-in-cheek, and his bibliographic title of 'Frighteningly Large Bibliography' is no joke.
The 'Big History' is Ben's History of the Kingdom of Talossa, Volume I: The First Decade, completed and self-published in 1992 with corrections made in 1994. In the absence of the National Archives, the 'Big History' is the most reliable account we have of Talossa's beginnings, and it is detailed.
A Nation Founded
Per the Big History, Ben was in an accident of some sort and hit his head on the street. He had a concussion and had to be rushed to the hospital, making a full recovery. From what I've gathered from Ben's humorous telling in the Big History, his mind by that experience was changed into one of greater brilliance. (Ha!)
The first fourteen years of his life seem to have been quite happy, and he never indicated to me those years were anything but normal and actually hum-drum. Hêri taught at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and his mother, Ivanâ Préiriâ, was at least for part of her career a well-loved librarian in the local public library system.
Ivanâ Préiriâ's sudden death took place in February 1979, per the Big History.
I bring this up only to say a reading of the Big History to my mind seems to unintentionally imply Talossa's founding was at least in a small part a coping mechanism on Ben's part regarding his mother's passing. This is, however, as much as anyone outside the Madison family ever needs to know, and I can say no more of this matter save a knowledge of this is essential to understanding at least a small part of possibly why Talossa was begun in the first place.
Ben's political mind in 1979 made him realize in the latter part of that year 'I am not an American.'. He got the idea of starting his own country, and on 26 December 1979 at 7:00pm Central, Ben held a small ceremony at which he declared his upstairs bedroom an independent country. He also crowned himself.
Hêrí and other relatives were present as well as Ben's sister. Xherált Conâ was present as U. S. Ambassador to the brand-new country. And that was that.
[photo coming soon]
Xherált Conâ ca. 1998 ~ photo by unknown
Language and War
The first year of Talossa was marked by numerous 'revolutions'. By the end of 1980, Ben had had enough of all that and decided keeping the Talossan monarchy around was what the country needed. At this time, the country officially consisted solely of himself, but he had gained international allies in his great conflict against the 'infernal Conâ': the Conâ Wars, prosecuted in November 1980 and coming to a head in the 'Battle of the Garage' on 25 November 1980.
The Conâ Wars consisted mainly of the Battle of the Garage, which consisted of Xherált procuring black ink from his church's print shop and throwing same on Ben's family's garage door. Xherált 'surrendered' soon thereafter and in the midst of winter cleaned the ink off the garage door.
Most importantly, however, 1980 saw the beginnings of the proper Talossan language, the start of Ben's 'newspaper of record', Støtanneu (which may have begun in 1979 immediately upon founding); his forays into pidgeon Northern European language-work being abandoned in earnest. The Big History is clear in that the end of 1980 with the Conâ Wars in Ben's mind being the point at which Talossa began to take on a life of its own, even if officially it was only a nation of one.
The first democratic election: 1981
The belligerents in the Conâ War were Ben, Ián 'JJ' Metáiriâ, and Art Verbotten. During this time, however, the beginnings of Talossa's political life were begun by way of the grouping of Ben, Dan Lauriér, and Bob dal Már and as a part of their non-Talossan real-life political discussions (for lack of a better term as I quickly write this document in the middle of the night).
Art Verbotten in 2003 commented to me Dan Lauriér and others wanted Ben to stop doing Talossa and get on with his real life, but in fact Dan was the 'fly in the ointment' that served as a perfect first political foil for Ben.
In Dan's mind, Talossa was far more ephemeral than it was in Ben's mind.
Spring 1981 saw Dan Lauriér's party elected to power in Talossa's first democratic election. He was the Kingdom's first prime minister and served in that capacity for about six months.
It would not be until 1985 that Talossan democracy / representative-government would make a return, but when it did, it was here to stay.
1981-1985
During this time, Ben, JJ and all the old Talossan crew graduated from high school and went on their separate ways. JJ became a citizen officially in 1983, and in 1985, Talossan National News (TNN) made its debut.
A reading of the Big History from this time is dull: political this and that with language-work done exclusively by Ben, a phenomena that would endure until Tomás Gariçéir came along in the late 1990s, becoming Talossa's second fluent Talossan speaker.
The first 'Golden Age': 1985-1988
It was said by Ben on Witt in the year 2000 Ián 'JJ' Metáiriâ was second only to Ben in Talossa's development. I would place JJ third behind Ben and Dan Lauriér. Dan and Ben together laid Talossa's political foundations, and were it not for Dan's involvement, I am very confident Ben in his absent-mindedness might have let Talossa fade away.
At about this time, Wes Aquilâ comes on the scene, and it must be said that it was not until 1996 that the Talossan community extended beyond the East-Side Milwaukee 'Old-Growthers' who knew each other in-person and who had decades of shared non-Talossan real-life, history, and experience.
1985 saw the 1985 Organic Law come into force, the first democratic election held since 1981, and the start of JJ becoming the new right-wing foil to Ben. By contrast, Dan Lauriér was still doing Talossa, but was a left-wing foil.
What JJ would have in a way no-one in Talossa has had before or since is true political panache. His collected works are a testimony to how much he enjoyed doing Talossa and how organized and thorough in everything he did. The years 1985-1988 were the time of JJ's greatest Talossan energy, and these years were a golden age of politics, drama, and true comedy.
It can be said Ben enjoyed political maneuvering behind-the-scenes as much as anything in Talossa. Perhaps this was at least part of his motivation in finding some random person to become Talossa's next king: Rôibeard Carlüs Diceubalsâ. While he was monarch, Ben had to maintain a public face, but as a private citizen, he could be a silent political assassin - the power behind the throne.
In 1987, Rôibeard Carlüs Diceubalsâ became Robert II, King of Talossa. But it was clear immediately he was not up to the job, and he was soon replaced by 'King' Floretziâ Iàrni, a former English teacher of Ben's.
Flo soon tired of the job, and in 1988 at about the same time the 1988 Constitution came into force, replacing the 1985 Organic Law, Ben reassumed the throne at a recoronation ceremony attended by just about every Talossan to have ever been a Talossa. Not before or since had there been such an assembly of Talossan history in one place.
I look at that event as the high-water mark in the second half of the 1980s. By this time, Davron had come on the scene and were already making waves and trouble. 'Davron' is an infamous name in Talossan history of this time: Daviü Ardít and Ronált Rosais, who took over the Progressive Conservative Party and generally made a nuisance of themselves in Talossa for ten years, and a particular nuisance for JJ who later wrote of their antics in his most-iconic work, Invasion of the Androids.
September 1987 also saw the first iteration of the Clark.
By 1989 and going into 1990, the bright flame (no pun intended) was burning out. The momentum that defined the mid-1980s was becoming stagnant, and Talossa entered the greatest period of apathy until the 2003-2004 period. Additionally, the right-wing edge JJ had all his life was permanently dulled: in 1990, he realized he actually had a reason to march in his first Pride parade. He dissolved his long-standing Talossan National Party at about this time.
In November of that year was the nadir during which a 'Destiny Referendum' was held to determine whether the Kingdom should dissolve itself or keep going. 'In the end, no-one voted to dissolve Talossa.', Ben said in the Big History, making December 1990 more cheery than the previous few months had been.
1991-1995: Resurgence
In this year, JJ did not publish TNN, but he did take the reigns as Prime Minister and led the country back from the doldrums.
There is a reason why Ben has been so high on JJ through the years. It was JJ's energy that led the nation back to itself, and when one takes in this history, it is easy to understand why Ben tended to forget (I believe) about Dan Lauriér. Ben and JJ were by this time best friends in a (platonic!) way Ben and Dan never had been. Ben and JJ were more like brothers.
1992 saw TNN make a return. This was also the year that saw the nadir of the long career of Davron, a force that had long outlasted its welcome.
Ca. 1994 saw the 'Mugrads' who attended Marquette University have their time in the spotlight. The chief event of 1994, however, was Dan Lauriér (per Àr Päts and TNN) make a first pitch for putting Talossa online. The consumer internet had just blossomed in the general public consciousness, and the time was ripe, in Dan's estimation, at least, to put the Regipäts out to the world.
On 15 January 1996 per Àr Päts, www.execpc.com/~talossa made its online debut. The Cybercit Era had begun.
A new age dawns
Chirischtôval Calitzâ in early 1996 became the country's first Cybercit, sight-unseen. Others soon followed, and by year's end, as many Cybercits had joined the Regipäts as had joined in the previous ten years.
The single most important event in the history of Talossan publicity occurred at this time with Netscape putting Talossa's website as one of its featured sites. Not before or since has the country been so deluged with inquiries.
1996 saw the formation of the ZPT as well as the first TalossaFest with Cybercit participation, either in-person or by phone. November saw new Secretary of State Adiêns P. Glaçâ preside over the first 'cyber-election' in Talossa's history.
By this time, the three Old-Growthers still fully-active in Talossa were Ben, JJ, and Art Verbotten. And it must be remembered at this time, Talossan society still revolved around the Milwaukee Old-Growth crowd, and for as long as Ben would remain in Talossa, this would continue to be the case as he was the sole 'liason' between many old-timers and all the Cybercits.
The second half of 1996 also saw work begin on the 1997 Organic Law with real-lift lawyer Matáiwos Harþ 'presiding' and doing a lot of the leg-work. This year also saw the exeunt of Davron from Talossa.
1996 or 1997 saw the first iteration of Wittenberg. It also saw the first Cort veto of a citizenship application: that of Miestrâ Schivâ who at that time seems to have been more 'obnoxious' about everything than she has turned out to be.
It also may be Ben was starting to get growing pains regarding the whole online thing.
Talossa's Algeria: 1997-1998
Miestrâ Schivâ and others around at that time will better people to ask about this. My limited observation is Talossa was finally beginning to feel the effects of mismanaged expectations as well as a generation-political gap between the American-center-left Ben Madison and the definite Euro-left new wave of Cybercits who wanted to do Talossa in a fresh new way in Pengopäts.
I get the feeling there is no clear 'culprit' in what went on, but one thing is clear: Ben was quite nasty to anyone who did not agree with him. Yes, it was at least partly out of his being protective of Talossa, but for the first time, the less-bright nature of the new-fangled consumer-internet was beginning to make itself known in Talossa: a fabulous opportunity for someone a thousand miles away to hurl invective (without libel, mind you) with no real-life consequences. Ben seems to have taken full advantage, and in small ways, his opponents may have given back at least a little of what they received in-kind from Talossa's founder.
Additionally, far too many people remained silent while Ben had his way with casting disparaging insults and jibes continually at the Pengopäts crowd: Danihél Viac'taldâ, Carlüs Savúls, Miestrâ Schivâ, and others. And this was during the very time when micronationalism online had its flowering and heyday. A time when Talossa should have been united in its public face as the leader in that flowering, making Ben the king of the internet.
Instead, it seems to me Ben did not throw honey at Schivâ and company. He poured vinegar.
In early 1998, things finally came to a head with Talossa's first mass-exodus which included Danihél Viac'taldâ, Savúls, and others. For years after, Ián Anglatzarâ stood as the most prominent of those who stayed around and defended those who left as anything but the 'traitors' Ben made them out to be.
The steady stream of new Talossans continued: Chirisch Cavéir became Prime Minister soon after the mass-exodus, and Tomás Gariçéir discovered the Talossan language and attended (along with Ián Anglatzarâ and JP Ventrutx and others) TalossaFest held that year. TNN also ceased publication for good as a regular print publication, though JJ continued to put TNN-blurbs on Witt and elsewhere online for some years following.
In the year 2000, a remarkable thing happened with Talossa's publicity: Wired magazine's issue 8.03 (March 2000) that featured an eight-page spread all about Talossa. Written by Alex Blumberg, it remains the greatest piece ever written on the Regipäts by a non-Talossan and in my estimation captured with 99.99 % accuracy a snapshot of the country at that exact moment in time.
The one exception is that, contrary to a quote from Chên Velméir in the article, Talossans actually would hang out together. This article is how three of us found out about Talossa: Margretâ Proßelitéir, M. Dinítz, and myself. On 5 August 2000, the three of us along with Amadâ Ascúnsväts, Ben's significant other, became citizens. At this writing, I am the only one still left doing Talossa.
From 1996 to 2001 and with a ton of help from Tomás Gariçéir, work on the Talossan language continued. The Second Edition of the Treisoûr was published in 1997.
Unfortunately, Ben's continued verbal abuse (and it's appropriate to use that term, alas) against those who disagreed with him on the 'traitors', religion, or politics (if a Cybercit) continued. December 2000 saw Flip Legerbôiç, a Calvinist (if memory serves), flee for the hills, and during this year, I remember Ben saying, "You are scum, Béiâ [Cruciani]. I mean it personally. You are scum."
I believe Béiâ had committed the unpardonable sin of being an outright communist. By all accounts, she and all the members of the much-maligned third Liberal Party of Talossa was actually a nice person.
Finally, in June 2001, Ián Anglatzarâ, Béiâ, and all the rest of the third Liberal Party (not related to the first two of that name in Talossan history) had had enough. They quit en-masse, and I think at that moment, the party probably ceased to exist right then or soon thereafter.
Too many of us stayed silent.
9-11
Talossa came together as it had never done before. It was the country's finest hour, even with a certain non-database-administrator from Québec making insensitive quasi-anarchist-left-wing remarks. His English continues to be as quirky as it ever has been.
November 2001 saw the most infamous Wittenberg crash of all-time, taking our Wittenberg forum record of 9-11 with it with no hope of retrieval, no matter what Martí-Pàir Furxheir tried to do. M-P had in January 2001 established the Talossa Database System, and I have no idea what Talossa would be now without his continuing efforts. January 2001 also saw Bill Cooper become a citizen.
Talossa headed into 2002 in an atmosphere of recovery and with its society still revolving all-too-much around how mad Ben was at someone at any given moment. But Ben had finally driven all his 'enemies' out.
Talossa began to get, well..., boring. It would not stay that way.
2002-2003
The breakup in late 2002 of the ancient Progressive Conservative Party was to me a ball from left-field. In actuality, it was inevitable. Ben could not get what he wanted done with PC inertia, and Cavéir was just plain bored. The PC seemed destined to rule Talossa indefinitely with Cosâ majority after majority.
In late 2002, Cavéir and Gariçéir teamed up to form the Grey Congress Party, beating out Ben's announcement of his revival of the old Black Hand Party with Wes Aquilâ. Ben's pocket-votes would go with him, and he would become the most powerful political force in the country. I suddenly found myself at the head of a three-way coalition.
And believe it or not, had I let it, this arrangement could have lasted for years. But I was getting burned out with the Seneschál-job.
A full accounting - from my perspective, at least - of the years 2002-2004 in Talossa may be had via my book A Nation Sundered, now in its third edition, having been republished in 2019.
To be succinct, the whole thing was the biggest clusterf**k in Talossan history, but can be summarized thusly:
In October 2003, I had been PM since June 2002 and wanted to step down. I had been incommunicado for a week (my fault on that), and it was clear to me having Chirisch Cavéir as my Deputy Prime Minister, ready to take over when I was done as PM, was the perfect way to leave office.
What I was unaware of was when Chirisch and Amadâ met at TalossaFest held a few months earlier, they haaaaaated each other. There was no way in hell Ben and Amadâ were going to be happy with Cavéir as Seneschál, and they did not accept my selection of him.
Furthermore, the one acceptable alternative, Quedéir Castiglhâ, was unable to accept the job due to a nasty class on his college schedule. It was near to the end-of-term, and I seriously considered dissolving the Cosâ and going straight into what would have been the most bitter election in Talossa's history.
So much drama... It all came to a head on 11 November 2003, when the Black Hand withdrew its support for my continuing as Seneschál and I was forced from office. Mximo became PM for a few days, and then Xherált Conâ took over for about literally three days.
For a deal had been struck for me to return as PM for a month to allow me to leave office with dignity. As for Quedéir, it turns out the State of Kansas changed its laws to where that nasty class of his was no longer required! He could have taken the deputy job, after all.
The animus between the Madisons (married by now) and Cavéir continued unabated with this, and I give it to you in-full:
[Gödafrïeu:]> > The healing has already begun. But it is my humble opinion that the chief problem in this is that you and Chirisch Cavéir cannot get along. > [Ben:]> Then Chris should leave. It would be good for everybody.
[Cavéir] Hey - Ben. Maybe you should do what your mother did all thse years ago. - from Poor Ben Donatüs. He just doesn't get it. (Witt X 7683), posted by Retroradio Cavéir on December 28, 2003 - 05:50
2003-2004
Needless to say, the entire country took a collective gasp of stunned silence.
As for the months that followed, I remember little from 2004 until 17 March when Mximo said something snarky that turned everything on once more.
Soon thereafter came this:
[Andrïeu Lorêntz said:]> Nor does it mean that his amazingly distasteful (I just can’t come up with a phrase that expresses how I felt when I saw the stuff about your mother-- I’m not sure there are strong enough words in the language for it) insults are excusable.
It wasn’t so much the slander against my mother that bothered me, it was his declaration that he wants me dead. Personally, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that someone like Cavéir is fully capable of murder. There is obviously some kind of moral line that is crossed when you call for someone else’s death-- that isn’t politics, and it isn’t even personal, it’s... transdavronian. (I have trouble finding words to describe Cavéir, too. ;-) - R. Ben Donatüs, Witt X 7798 - reply to Witt X 7785 from RE: Profiles in Talossan Courage, posted by King Robert I on January 05, 2004 - 09:23
[RBM said:]> > As much as I may be shouting into the wind here, I remain politically independent and I am not necessarily committed to any party. But, I can’t be morally neutral--when I see wrong in Talossa, and especially if nobody else wants to do anything about it, I won’t be silent. [Mic'haglh Loquatsch said:]> Perhaps the reason that nobody else wants to do anything about it is that nobody else agrees that what you see is wrong - or even that what you see is necessarily what is really going on. I am quite willing to accept that “nobody else” thinks death threats are a serious issue, even when they come from someone with a background of violent crime. I just happen to disagree. It’s a free country. -R. Ben Donatüs, Witt X 9828 - reply to Witt X 9199 from RE: Let’s take a breath, huh :), posted by King Robert I on March 23, 2004 - 11:50
[RBM said:]> I am quite willing to accept that “nobody else” thinks death threats are a serious issue, even when they come from someone with a background of violent crime. I just happen to disagree. It’s a free country. Death threats from someone with a background of violent crime. Right. In that case, I might suggest that you go to the American authorities to get a restraining order against this violent criminal. -Mic'haglh Loquatsch, Witt X 9235 - reply to Witt X 9828 from RE: Let’s take a breath, huh :) posted by Mic'haglh Loquatsch on March 23, 2004 - 12:18
[RBM said:]> > I am quite willing to accept that “nobody else” thinks death threats are a serious issue, even when they come from someone with a background of violent crime. I just happen to disagree. It’s a free country. [Mic'haglh Loquatsch said:]> Death threats from someone with a background of violent crime. Right. You don’t believe me. Why not? > In that case, I might suggest that you go to the American authorities to get a restraining order against this violent criminal. Already been done. - R. Ben Donatüs, Witt X 9267 - reply to Witt X 9235 from RE: Let’s take a breath, huh :), posted by King Robert I on March 23, 2004 - 16:46
In an effort to drive Chirisch Cavéir out of Talossa, Ben Madison attempted to conflate Cavéir's publicly-available record of petty crime with the records connected with real abuse Amadâ had received from a previous relationship.
When we talk about the 'vendetta against Chirisch Cavéir', this is to what we are referring: Ben Madison's online slander that potentially could have had real-life effects on Cavéir's custody battle and other things in his life. We talk about 'the Split', but this was the truly horrible thing that happened in Talossa during this time: a Talossan using extra-Talossan means to get back at another Talossan. For the first time, even ballot-forging Davron didn't look nearly as horrible as they once did.
Of course, the rest of the country knew Ben was blowing smoke up his arse, but he wouldn't let it go. Whether he and Amadâ really thought Chirisch Cavéir was a violent criminal or not is something I at this writing believe we will never know for absolute certain.
Many years of built-up resentment toward Ben over all sorts of things he had said against other people with this on top of that tore the country apart, and Talossa nearly went down for good in April 2004.
Instead, eleven of us founded the Republic of Talossa, and with that event on 1 June 2004 came what is commonly called 'the Split'.
But we did it wrong.
In our rage and anger, we elected to cut off the Wittenberg accounts of everyone who was not among us Founding Parents of the Republic instead of doing the right thing and just throwing Ben and Amadâ off Witt. Had we done just those two accounts, the mantra of 'Betrayed, Stolen, Kept' probably would never have started in the first place, and we would have gotten a thousand times more sympathy from the many Talossans who did not leave with us in what amounted to Talossa's third mass-exodus.
In the genuine hurt over us commandeering talossa.com and Witt, the vendetta against Cavéir was obscured in the eyes of many - much to Ben's absolute delight.
But Ben did not let it go. He had won. He had driven out the last bastion of all those who would oppose him.
But there were two people who would come on the scene. Two people who would rewrite the script... Fritz von Buchholtz and John Woolley were waiting in the wings of the non-Talossan world, and Woolley alone would prove to be more than a match for the King of Talossa.
After the Split: 2nd half of 2004
It is on 1 June 2004 the time period covered by A Nation Sundered comes to an end. At the start of 2004, Àr Päts starts to become dangerously unreliable. This is why for the research into my coming full-scale work on Talossa, I will lean heavily on the Àr Päts 2003 Comprehensive Edition among many other primary-source documents.
To my knowledge, this document is the first attempt by anyone to cover Talossan history from 1 June 2004 onward.
I really cannot describe how dark things were in March and April 2004.
The first days and weeks of the 2004-2012 Republic of Talossa were the exact opposite of April and May 2004. We felt liberated. We felt free.
And we were doing Talossa the way it should have always been done. We were free from the fetters of Ben and the musty 1997 Organic Law. We opened the doors to all of Talossa (save Ben and Amadâ only, though at first we did exclude two others who had supported the Madisons most of all) to come and join us.
Art Verbotten was among the first to take up our offer. And with Ián Anglatzarâ's joining us, his coming alone reversed the June 2001 Liberal mass-exodus. If he was one of us, Béiâ and everyone else would know they would be welcomed with open arms as they would be in the Kingdom of today.
Then, there was Miestrâ Schivâ. A much-more mellow Miestrâ as I understand it... Her being with us alone would have been a triumph. And with two Wittenberg posts, I was convinced she was anything but the the repulsive creature Ben had led me and others to believe she had been.
Everything was now reversed. For me, Ben had finally been exposed as the monster he truly was, and those who he maligned were vindicated. As the proud heathen Chirisch Cavéir put it, "Jesus was Satan and Satan was Jesus.".
As for the Kingdom, it was left in shock and desolation. But it was also resolute in its indignation at us placing the innocent in the same place with the guilty by pulling their Witt accounts. Again, the vendetta against Cavéir was all-too-forgotten, and Ben fanned the flames of the people's resentment toward us.
Perhaps that resentment helped keep the Kingdom alive in those critical first days when Wittenberg XI on proboards.com was set up. It would become the longest-lasting Wittenberg of them all, only being retired in early 2020 for the new Wittenberg XIV.
A friend from way back, Fritz was brought in by Ben to help rebuild the Kingdom in the wake of the Split. Grigôriu Ràxalâ (sp?) was also brought in to help things along.
Ben had won. But he saw to it himself he would lose in the end.
The last end of Old Talossa
January to August 2005 was a progression of willing people brought in to help Ben make a new Talossa to the whole country having come to resent Ben enough to where Ben decided to do a Cartman: "Screw you guys. I'm going home."
As he had done with so many others before him, Ben kept on with berating the 'splitters' and 'quitters' with willing help from too many people. Water under the bridge now, of course; I have no desire to mention names, here…
In May 2005, John Woolley came to Talossa. And with him came his family from Colorado and his friends as well. They numbered fewer than ten, but in Kingdom political terms, they were a critical mass with the strength of hundreds.
John immediately saw what sort of chap Ben was: brilliant and vindictive. Ben would be taken down a notch or two, and 'Diplomacy John / Colorado John' would see it done. Let Ben keep on about his many 'enemies'. Let Ben slowly turn off the entire country and isolate himself.
Was John so brilliant that he foresaw Ben's leaving Talossa altogether once Ben had no allies left (so he thought)? Probably not, but that is ultimately what happened.
Fritz and John called Ben on his b-s. They spent the whole of June, July, and early-August 2005 doing that. But it was the Talossan language that did Ben in.
When Ben decided to withhold the Talossan language from 'the republicans', that meant withholding Talossan-language materials and other things related to the language from the whole of the world. This was something Tomás Gariçéir could not accept.
Tomás Gariçéir... The 2nd-most apolitical Talossan to have ever lived, Coop being the first…
When Ben realized Tomás was no longer completely on his side, he realized in Talossan political terms he may still be monarch, but aside from a few Old-Growth and Cybercit friends, he was possibly utterly alone. On about 15 August 2005, he and Amadâ renounced their Talossan citizenships, and he abdicated the throne.
And with that, he left the Kingdom in the lerch. Things were so tenuous, had Dan Lauriér and others not stepped into the breach - but especially Dan - the Kingdom might have goen under right then and there.
Dan Lauriér's last great contribution to Talossa came as he was the sole Justice currently on the Uppermost Cort. When Ben used Wes Aquilâ as a citizen-proxy to sue to have the citizenships of twenty brand-new citizens annuled due to procedural irregularities, Justice Lauriér ruled against the former king, saying things in Talossan governance had been done in an ad-hoc manner since the beginning.
I regard that landmark 2005 ruling against Wes Aquilâ / Ben Madison as the start of what we can call the 'modern' Kingdom of Talossa.
Pan-Talossa instead of 'One Talossa'
With Ben and Amadâ gone, one would think we in the Republic would have returned to the Kingdom immediately. There were at least two things stopping us.
Firstly, we were as a group too invested with our new constitution and way of governance. Secondly, and most of all, Ben had done too good a job at turning us into second-class Talossans in the eyes of the majority of the Kingdom. Why return to a community where one would be hated? As a group, we elected to stay put.
Within a year, however, JP Ventrutx did come back, and he was villified as a turncoat in the Republic. I would have come back to the Kingdom sooner than I ultimately did, but I stayed in the Republic because 1. I thought Chirisch would never speak to me again and 2. I wanted to do whatever I could to maintain solidarity with the former Libs and everyone else so that when the time came when they would be ready to cross over to the Kingdom, I could be around to help them do that.
I was never as invested in the Republic's form of constitution and governance as many others were, and it was no secret I was the most pro-reunification and monarchist citizen the Republic ever had.
By the end of 2005, the Kingdom political order that had opposed Ben's vindictiveness had run its course. With the demise of the Conservative Loyalist Party, the last vestiges of the ancient Talossan political order ceased to exist.
In the resultant power-vacuum stepped in the RUMP, which would go on to have a six-ish-year streak of Cosâ majorities that would not end until after Reunision in 2012. In Talosan history, only the Progressive Conservatives were more successful.
And the RUMP was well-ready to step in. John and others had not been idle, and for its entire existence, the RUMP was seen as 'the party of the King' as the old PC was during Ben's time.
As for John Woolley's election as monarch in 2007, we in the Republic had no problem with him personally. We were horrified at his election because we felt no-one currently then-active in Talossa was worthy to take the Talossan throne. No Old-Growther wanted the job. And don't get me started on Louis, the boy-king, whose reign was probably illegal both inside and outside Talossa.
2007 in the Kingdom was a cultural high-water mark. Talossan heraldry had been to the point nearly the exclusive domain of Ben and JJ, but in 2007 in conjunction with John's accession to the throne, a quasi-Society for Creative Anachronism spirit took over the Kingdom. With this came the start of the most-excellent tradition of Awards of Arms, of which I heartily approve.
2004-2007 also marked the beginning of the modern Talosan civil service with John Woolley as Secretary of State for part of that time and before he was king. Yes, he presided over his own confirmation to the throne, but I never saw anyone question his compentency or his honesty in the time he was SoS.
The post-Split rebuilding of the Talossan civil service almost from scratch is one of the unsung stories of Talossan history.
2008 for me marked the nadir of pan-Talossan relations, the chief marker of which was the rebuffed attempt by Alexander Davinescu to visit the Republic Wittenberg in that year. A situation still by me very much regretted…
I remember very little from the years 2009-2010 in that I was nigh-on completely inactive. In 2010, Miestrâ invited me to be a member of her political party in the Republic, and it was from that point on, I became active in Talossa once more.
A Modest Proposal
It is still my belief John Woolley and others resisted any attempt on our part at negotiating our return to the Kingdom in any manner save as any new prospectives because they saw us republicans as a direct threat to the monarchist SCA-like way in which they wanted to do Talossa. Of course, I hold out hope I am wrong on this.
In the end, the thing that killed the 2004-2012 Republic of Talossa came down to the fact once Ben and Amadâ were gone from the Kingdom, the Republic no longer had any logical reason to exist. On 15 August 2005, our work was done, and we should have, with dignity, dissolved the Republic right then and there and come back to the Kingdom.
However, we had citizens who had never been a part of the Kingdom and who only ever did the Republic. We had to do right by those people, and as I type this, this reason perhaps more than anything else was what kept the Republic around for as long as it was.
This was the thing that made what would be called 'Reunision' so remarkable: those who had never been Kingdom citizens went along with us. Had that not happened, Miestrâ's December 2011 'modest proposal' would probably never had worked, and it came within a knife-edge of not working, anyway.
In the end, the chief thing that made Reunision possible was everyone on both sides saw the need for immense pragmatism in the face of stagnation on both sides. No-one can doubt the political and societal shot-in-the-arm we republicans gave Kingdom-life upon our return on 20 April 2012, thereby bringing the 2004-2012 Republic to the dignified end it so deserved.
Indeed, we who started that country 'dared something worthy', and when Chirish Cavéir came home with the rest of us, Halloween and Vendetta both were stabbed in the heart for good.
Post-Reunision
Of course as with any political party anywhere eventually, all Talossan political parties fade away eventually, and the RUMP at this writing seems to have been no exception. That being said, it needs only to turn on a dime to roar once again.
I write this summary-history of Talossa on 4 August 2020 and in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic with Miestrâ Schivâ as Seneschál and John continuing to reign as King. Miestrâ as Seneschal and the Leader of the Free Democrats led the successful charge in this immediately-past election to de-hereditarize the monarchy, and that alone puts her in a secure spot in the history of Talossa.
A new conservative party has revived the conservative movement in Talossa which seeks to bring the country back to the 2005-2011 time when full-on monarchism was the thème de jour. Talossan politics continues to be vibrant while work on the language to my knowledge has stagnated once more.
And yes, in summer 2019, Ben Madison's attempt at returning to the Kingdom was rebuffed in no uncertain terms.
It is my belief that without work on making the Talossan language come alive, the Kingdom of Talossa become nothing more than an experiment in politics, doomed to eventual failure.
And that is it for now. In time, again, I will have a far-more detailed account of my Talossan journey, as I've left umpteen people and events out of this telling.
Photo Credits
Cover: Vuode Palace - window to the Royal Bedroom - taken by GV in June 2002 during his first haxh to Talossa