History

The history of the Kingdom of Talossa is long and illustrious. While the roots of the nation lie with our ancient Berber forebears and the local heritage of neighboring Milwaukee, the history of Talossa itself is comparably more recent.

Dictator Era (Dictatür Atx) (1979-1981)

This period of Talossan history is marked by almost complete Madisonian dominance, with every single aspect of Talossan life defined and controlled by the founder, Robert I. His legal powers are dictatorial and generally unlimited.

12/26/1979/I - Talossa is founded as a one-person "democratic dictatorship" by Robert I. Gary Cone is recognized as U.S. Ambassador to Talossa.

1/11/1980/I - Dictatorship abandoned in favor of "Communist People's Republic."

2/10/1980/I - Atheistic communism abandoned; return to dictatorship.

8/1/1980/I - Støtanneu begins regular publication as the first Talossan media.

9/1/1980/I - Gary Cone no longer recognized as U.S. Ambassador and treated as persona non grata when his theism is discovered.

9/24/1980/I - Third Talossan Revolution. Talossa becomes a republic for the first time. Antarctica and Portugal annexed in first claimed expansion of Talossan territory.

10/8/1980/I - Republic abandoned; return to dictatorship as Robert I reassumes the throne for the second time. Claims to Antarctica and Portugal abandoned.

11/18/1980/I - Declaration of war against Gary Cone's Glib Room Empire, following physical assault by Cone against Robert I's sister, Jennifer Madison.

11/21/1980/I - John Jahn recognized as new U.S. Ambassador. Simultaneously, Jahn forms the state of KJK according to the ideals of Robert I's "World Singular Secession." The KJK and Talossa are joined by John Eiffler's "Kingdom of Thord" in a "League of Secessionist States," or "LOSS." LOSS unites in war against the Glib Room Empire.

11/25/1980/I - Battle of the Garage. Glib Room Empire formally surrenders; end of the seven-day Cone War.

11/29/1980/I - John Jahn resigns as U.S. Ambassador over dispute about racism.

12/11/1980/I - Robert I decrees the creation of the Talossan language.

7/1/1981/II - Talossa adds first citizens beyond Robert I: Dan Lorentz, Josh Macht, Bob Murphy, Harry Wozniak, and Dawn Scher become nonvoting citizens.

7/14/1981/II - Robert I abdicates and leaves Talossa.

7/22/1981/II - Robert I returns to Talossa.

8/4/1981/II - Robert I reassumes the throne for the third time; first elections announced. Robert I forms right-wing Royal Socialist Party. Dan Lorentz forms left-wing Democratic Dandipratic Party.

9/18/1981/II - First elections begin.

9/22/1981/II - "Regipäts Talossán" is coined by Robert I as name of nation.

9/27/1981/II - First elections end. DDP takes majority with three votes over the RSP's two.

Expansion Era (Expança Atx) (1981-1983)

Talossa begins to be influenced by people other than Robert I, if only slightly, and large annexations are made of new land, with the borders of Talossa expanding and contracting wildly until they assume roughly modern proportions. The country remains essentially a dictatorship.

9/28/1981/II - Dan Lorentz is sworn in as first Seneschal.

10/11/1981/II - Seneschal Lorentz is removed by Robert I.

10/18/1981/II - RSP is dissolved. Robert I forms Thundersword Movement as a new fascist party after being defeated as Senior Class President by what he would later call "mobs of racist Blacks."

1/9/1982/III - Robert I abdicates. Council for Nationalist Victory instituted to rule the country.

1/21/1982/III - Council for Nationalist Victory abolished. Robert I reassumes the throne for the fourth time.

3/9/1982/III – Pengöpäts annexed as unpopulated territory by Talossa.

3/16/1982/III – Cheap Glory Act enacted by Robert I; Madison home (now officially Vuode Province), nearby Downer Woods, and a local beach in modern Ataturk Province is added to Talossan territory (Atatürk Province).

4/2/1982/III – Talossa declares a sympathy war against Argentina, siding with Great Britain in the Falklands War.

4/17/1982/III – Treaty of Shorewood. Area comprising Lake Park, University of Wisconsin at Madison, and Riverside High School (Mussolini – now Benito – Province) ceded to Talossa by current U.S. Ambassador. Talossa also annexes other areas of Milwaukee, including the area of Mitchell Airport. Annexations are poorly recorded and unsubstantive.

8/17/1982/III – Cézembre annexed (Cézembre Province).

1/1/1983/IV – First Cabinet ministers named. Dan Lorentz returns as Seneschal, Bob Murphy becomes Foreign Minister, and John Jahn as War Minister (effective the following month).

1/26/1983/IV – Edgewood Proclamation. Talossa assumes defined shape closely resembling modern borders.

Establishment Era (Cünstavalità Atx) (1983- 1990)

Many of the myths and traditions that would later define the nation are established or sparked, while royal power is decreased tremendously in deferment to the increasing importance of the citizenry to Talossa as democracy is introduced.

5/1/1983/IV – Theft of the flag of Talossa; Holiday of Hatred established.

5/22/1984/V – Robert I announces the Berber Hypothesis.

10/16/1984/V – The first major media article on Talossa is published, by Seneschal Dan Lorentz in the Milwaukee Sentinel.

12/26/1984/VI – The Ziu is created by Robert I; the Senäts is appointed by the King and Cosâ is elected. The Senäts remains empty and is not used.

4/23/1985/VI – John Jahn’s Talossa National News is created as the first opposition paper.

5/12/1985/VI – A 1985 Organic Law is established by the King; the rambling document grants veto authority to Robert I on every aspect of Talossa and is still superseded by the first Constitution, but sets up the Ziu and other traditions.

7/22/1985/VI – Elections become more free, as non-votes cease to be automatic votes for the Robert I.

1/1/1986/VII – Vuode Crisis: Premier Dan Lorentz vows to secede Vuode from Talossa.

3/10/1986/VII – Vuode Crisis ends upon public referendum about Vuode’s future.

1/10/1987/VIII – Robert I clarks a referendum to name Robert Dobberpuhl, recent immigrant to Talossa, as the new King to try to defer calls for full democracy.

2/11/1987/VIII – After the referendum returns a slight majority in favor of Dobberpuhl, he is sworn in as Robert II. The Constitution is declared void.

3/29/1987/VIII – A Lorentz government deposes Robert II and enacts strong strictures on royal power, beginning the brief and unofficial “Peculiar Republic” period of Talossa.

8/15/1987/VIII – Sandee Prachel becomes Talossa’s first female Seneschal.

8/24/1987/VIII – After a referendum on the topic, Florence Yarney (formerly Robert I’s English teacher in high school) is sworn in as King Florence I. Five-month “Peculiar Republic” ends.

9/1/1987/VIII – The first Clark is compiled, named for the shop (Clark Graphics) where they were photocopied.

10/1/1987/IX – King Florence I is retitled Queen Florence I by the Cosa after briefly being officially Kingess Florence I. The citizenship essay “What Talossa Means To Me” is established by an act of Cosa, and all new citizens are required to purchase Robert I’s book The History of Talossa.

2/27/1988/IX – Florence I abdicates, and Robert I is restored to the throne with limited powers in the Restoration.

6/24/1988/IX – Creation of the 1988 Constituziun by Robert I, Dan Lorentz, Andrew Wozniack, John Jahn, and Bob Murphy. King’s power is limited into narrow channels of veto and the Seneschal acquires the power of Prime Dictates.

1/21/1989/X – First Living Cosa held by Seneschal Tom Buffone.

4/1/1989/X – Jennifer Madison creates the Talossan Sponge Party, the first of the apathy parties.

25/26/1989/XI – Tenth anniversary of Talossa’s founding.

2/14/1990/XI – A direct mail campaign by John Jahn’s Nationalist Party marks the advent of modern electioneering in Talossa.

Quiet Era (Þagal Atx) (1990-1994)

One of the most serious periods of general inactivity and diminishment of interest in Talossa, marked by a series of failing governments. Several scandals occur, thanks in part to the necessity of placing new and untested – but active - citizens into high positions.

4/1/1990/XI – A longer period of general inactivity begins with the nation’s first Vote of No Confidence, ousting Seneschal Harry Wozniak.

11/15/1990/XI – The National Destiny Referendum of Robert I asks Talossa whether the status quo should be maintained under the Constituziun, the country should return to a dictatorship, or if Talossa should be dissolved. Voters affirm the status quo, but the move sparks little interest.

8/13/1991/XI – Robert I offers the Covenant of Rights and Freedoms as a referendum, and it passes.

10/30/1991/XI – The Cosa passes reforms that permit the elimination of “dead citizens” from the rolls.

1/14/1992/XII – After the introduction of write-in votes and some subsequent joke votes for “Mickey Mouse,” Dan Lorentz and Josh Macht register the Mickey Mouse Movement and claim the votes in the first instance of Joke Maneuvering.

4/1/1992/XII – Seneschal John Jahn dissolves the government to avoid an incipient Vote of No Confidence due to political maneuvering by Robert I.

4/9/1992/XII – Talossa recognizes the new province of Bradford, formed by the Harry Wozniak, Bob Murphy, and Dan Lorentz.

6/1/1992/XII – Seneschal Tom Buffone is voted No Confidence after refusing to fill his Cosa seats or engage in any activity as Seneschal. He claims he didn’t authorize the issuance of a Clark, so the vote was illegal. The Cort Pü Inalt upholds his petition, but orders another vote. Buffone remains in office.

6/21/1992/XII – Robert I proposes a referendum to settle the question of peculiarism versus derivatism, but while it achieves a majority it fails to get a supermajority and become law, leaving the matter unsettled.

10/31/1992/XII – Second Vuode Crisis: Robert I declares that if the Seneschal did not recognize Talossa as a real country, then he couldn’t object to his secession from it with his home province. In retaliation, Seneschal Buffone declares that if Robert I was seceding, then he was also automatically abdicating.

11/21/1992/XII – Second Vuode Crisis ends after twenty-one days after the Cort Pü Inalt issued a binding but unpersuasive ruling declaring Talossa inherently derivativist and thus the secession had been unlawful and was null and void. Robert I is declared a traitor and penalized with a removal of voting privileges for one Clark.

Memorable Words of Talossan Monarchs

“I am King of a nation of dreamers, but I cannot be King of every dream.” Robert I “I am a friend of small, furry animals.” Robert II "Call me the king of swat, the king of rock and roll, and the King of Talossa.” Florence I "What Talossa tells us now, in her falsely-rumoured twilight, is that the greatest irony of Talossan history, perhaps, is that for some, Talossa is far too ‘real’ for their tastes.” Robert I “May Talossa survive this government!” Robert I

5/1/1993/XIII – After an incredible effort at raising votes, the Robert I’s Progressive Conservative Party obtains a supermajority of seats in the Cosa despite lingering accusations of fraud. The resulting Cosa votes the King a unilateral line-item veto, power to choose an heir without approval, and institutes the modern Three Strikes rule.

8/1/1993/XIII – Maritiimi Province is joined with Port Maxhestic to form Maritiimi-Maxhestic.

10/14/1993/XIII – Record low turnout in election with only eleven votes received – less than half the votes of the previous election.

7/30/1994/XIV – Momgate: Dave Kuenn attempts to send out a mailer in violation of a Robert I law requiring political advertisements to be registered with the Chancery; the Cort Pü Inalt throws out the law in favor of mail privacy. Robert I uses the ruling to issue a referendum without having to inform the opposition and eliminate the loophole which permitted Momgate in the first place. Later investigation would lead to censure of Kuenn and exposure of voter fraud on his part.

Internet Era (Inter'riet Atx) (1995-2003)

Talossa goes online and explodes into a drastically changed country, gaining an enormous amount of new citizens and becoming dependent on electronic versions of previous traditional institutions.

8/21/1995/XV – Talossa goes online, getting its first email address.

12/1/1995/XV – Senäts is restored to power, as a bar to a potential influx of new citizens.

1/15/1996/XVI – Talossa’s webpage goes online for the first time.

2/1/1996/XVI – Chris Collins becomes the first Cybercit.

4/10/1996/XVI – Støtanneu goes online.

5/8/1996/XVI – John Jahn and Nathan Freeberg form the Talossans for Talossa Party to oppose Cybercit involvement in response to a huge influx of citizens.

12/14/1996/XVI – First accusations against Robert I of having “pocket votes” during the first election over the Internet.

7/6/1997/XVII – The Organic Law, primarily authored by Matthias Muth and Evan Gallagher, is overwhelmingly approved by referendum. It introduces the “Real Cosa” of 20 seats.

9/1/1997/XVIII – Governor of Pengopats Evan Gallagher and Ryan Hughes leave Talossa and join with noncitizen Miestrâ Schivâ in forming a new micronation of “Penguinea.”

9/1/1998/XIX – Matt Dabrowski’s citizenship application is rejected in the first known refusal of a citizenship request. Dabrowski’s widely known inclination towards the Progressive Conservatives is a major factor in his rejection; a strong tradition will develop against pre-citizenship recruitment (or “broosking” as it will later be called).

3/21/1999/XX – Semi-Permeable Wall Act comes into effect despite Robert I’s efforts against it, ending Talossa’s long association and difficulties with micronations.

12/26/1999/XXI – Twentieth anniversary of Talossa’s founding.

12/4/2002/XXI – Robert I departs the Progressive Conservatives, which had dominated Talossan politics ceaselessly and overwhelmingly since 1993. He and Wes Erni found La Mhà Nheagrâ.

1/10/2003/XXII – Progressive Conservative support plummets; it remains the largest party, but brand-new party Mhà Nheagrâ takes almost as many votes. Robert I declares that this proves that there are no “pocket votes,” not recognizing the irony of his stance.

10/14/2003/XXII – “Real Cosa” is eliminated and 200-seat Cosa is returned. Mhà Nheagrâ now takes a near-majority and is the largest party.

Abdication Era (Axhitaziun Atx) (2004-2006)

This period was marked by increasing civil strife, including the mass defection of many citizens to the new micronation of the Republic of Talossa and culminating in the Great Abdication.

11/22/2003/XXII – Frenette Incident: Secretary of State Martin-Pierre Frenette strips Gary Cone of his seats and gives them to Ieremiac'h Ventrutx in the face of questionable accusations of fraud and thereby giving the Progressive Conservatives a majority and the Mhà Nheagrâ- Zefençadeirs del Päts Talossán coalition a minority. The Cort Pü Inalt rules the action illegal and reverses it, putting the Mhà Nheagrâ- Zefençadeirs del Päts Talossán back in power. Controversy divides the nation.

11/25/2003/XXII – Noodles Summit: Internal peace is achieved with an agreement to transition to a Mhà Nheagrâ government provided Robert I resigns his seats and the OrgLaw be amended to keep the monarch from the legislature permanently.

6/1/2004/XXIII – While Robert I vacations, Ieremiac'h Ventrutx, Tamorán dal Navâ, Michael Pope, Andrew Lowry, Jeffrey Ragsdale, Andrea Thompson, Lisa Skovalia, Gregory Tisher, Gjermund Higraff, Uglhán Cruceatúl, and Matthias Muth leave Talossa and join with Penguinean Miestrâ Schivâ to form the Republic of Talossa. They proclaim the “secession” of Maritiimi-Maxhestic, Cézembre, Maricopa, and Florencia. They are soon joined by Ian Anglatzara and Martin-Pierre Frenette. The Talossan domain (talossa.com) – administered by Frenette - is changed to the Republic webpage, and all Talossans are banned from the usurped Wittenberg.

6/14/2004/XXIII – Wittenberg is restored in a different location. By-elections fill vacant positions and immigration requirements are lowered.

9/10/2004/XXIII – Louis Guzman, Robert I’s adopted grandson, is named heir by Robert I and confirmed by the Ziu.

12/9/2004/XXIII – Fritz Buchholtz immigrates, and becomes the center of a new influx of citizenry.

12/26/2004/XXIV – Twenty-fifth anniversary of Talossa’s founding.

4/19/2005/XXIV – Government of the United States recognizes Talossan sovereignty, when the name of the nation “Talossa” is trademarked by Robert I.

5/7/2005/XXIV – John Woolley immigrates.

8/13/2005/XXIV – Months of contention come to a head, when after having initiatives defeated in the Ziu on several occasions, Robert I demands the membership rolls of Fritz Buchholtz’s Conservative Loyalist Party and is refused.

8/15/2005/XXIV – The Great Abdication: Robert I abdicates the throne for the sixth and final time and renounces his citizenship. King Louis I succeeds him to the throne. He is followed in renunciation by several other longtime citizens.

9/14/2005/XXIV – The Cort Pü Inalt upholds the actions of the CLP and rules against Robert Madison’s ex parte suit.

11/29/2006/XXV – King Louis I abdicates the throne. With no heir, it remains empty and Gregory Rajala assumes the Regency.

Modern Era (Actüell Atx) (2007-)

3/14/2007/XXVI – John Woolley, now King John I, assumes the throne after a national referendum.

19 April 2012/XXXIII - The blossoming of Reunision brings together the Republic of Talossa and the Kingdom of Talossa, united in a single country once more.