History

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Talossan Culture

The history of the Kingdom of Talossa is long and illustrious. While the roots of the nation lie with our ancient Berber forebears and the local heritage of neighboring Milwaukee, the history of Talossa itself is comparably more recent.

Dictator Era (Dictatür Atx) (1979-1981)

This period of Talossan history is marked by almost complete Madisonian dominance, with every single aspect of Talossan life defined and controlled by the founder, Robert I. His legal powers are dictatorial and generally unlimited.

  • 12/26/1979/I - Talossa is founded as a one-person "democratic dictatorship" by Robert I. Gary Cone is recognized as U.S. Ambassador to Talossa.
  • 1/11/1980/I - Dictatorship abandoned in favor of "Communist People's Republic." The date of this failed coup is still commemorated in Talossa as Labour Day.
  • 2/10/1980/I - Atheistic communism abandoned; return to dictatorship. (Some reports claim that the communist coup failed on 1/11, later on the same day it began.)
  • 8/1/1980/I - Støtanneu begins regular publication as the first Talossan media.
  • 9/1/1980/I - Gary Cone no longer recognized as U.S. Ambassador and treated as persona non grata when his theism is discovered.
  • /24/1980/I - Third Talossan Revolution. Talossa becomes a republic for the first time. Antarctica and Portugal annexed in first claimed expansion of Talossan territory.
  • 10/8/1980/I - Republic abandoned; return to dictatorship as Robert I reassumes the throne for the second time. Claims to Antarctica and Portugal abandoned.
  • 11/18/1980/I - Declaration of war against Gary Cone's Glib Room Empire, following physical assault by Cone against Robert I's sister, Jennifer Madison.
  • 11/21/1980/I- John Jahn recognized as new U.S. Ambassador. Simultaneously, Jahn forms the state of KJK according to the ideals of Robert I's "World Singular Secession." The KJK and Talossa are joined by John Eiffler's "Kingdom of Thord" in a "League of Secessionist States," or "LOSS". LOSS unites in war against the Glib Room Empire.
  • 11/25/1980/I - Battle of the Garage. Glib Room Empire formally surrenders; end of the seven-day Cone War.
  • 11/29/1980/I - John Jahn resigns as U.S. Ambassador over dispute about racism.
  • 12/11/1980/I - Robert I decrees the creation of the Talossan language. The following day sees its first use and is commemorated as Llimbaziua.
  • 7/14/1981/II - Robert I abdicates and leaves Talossa, giving as his reasons his belief that his dedication to Talossa is proving a hindrance to his ambition to meet and date girls.
  • 7/22/1981/II - Robert I returns to Talossa, having spent a week striking out with girls despite his abdication.
  • 8/4/1981/II - Robert I reassumes the throne for the third time; first elections announced. Robert I forms right-wing Royal Socialist Party. Dan Lorentz forms left-wing Democratic Dandipratic Party.
  • 9/18/1981/II - First elections begin.
  • 9/22/1981/II - "Regipäts Talossán" is coined by Robert I as name of nation.
  • 9/27/1981/II - First elections end. The DDP takes majority with three votes over the RSP's two.

Expansion Era (Expança Atx) (1981-1983)

Talossa begins to be influenced by people other than Robert I, if only slightly, and large annexations are made of new land, with the borders of Talossa expanding and contracting wildly until they assume roughly modern proportions. The country remains essentially a dictatorship.

  • 9/28/1981/II - Dan Lorentz is sworn in as first Seneschal.
  • 10/11/1981/II - Seneschal Lorentz is removed by Robert I.
  • 10/18/1981/II - The RSP is dissolved. Robert I forms the Thundersword Movement as a new fascist party after being defeated as Senior Class President by what he would later call "mobs of racist Blacks".
  • 1/9/1982/III - Robert I abdicates. Council for Nationalist Victory instituted to rule the country.
  • 1/21/1982/III - Council for Nationalist Victory abolished. Robert I reassumes the throne for the fourth time.
  • 3/9/1982/III – Pengöpäts is annexed as unpopulated territory by Talossa.
  • 3/16/1982/III – Cheap Glory Act enacted by Robert I; Madison home (now officially Vuode Province), nearby Downer Woods, and a local beach in modern Atatürk Province is added to Talossan territory.
  • 4/2/1982/III – Talossa declares a sympathy war against Argentina, siding with Great Britain in the Falklands War.
  • 4/17/1982/III – Treaty of Shorewood. Area comprising Lake Park, University of Wisconsin at Madison, and Riverside High School (Mussolini – now Benito – Province) ceded to Talossa by current U.S. Ambassador. Talossa also annexes other areas of Milwaukee, including the area of Mitchell Airport. Annexations are poorly recorded and unsubstantive.
  • 8/17/1982/III – Cézembre annexed (Cézembre Province).
  • 1/1/1983/IV – First Cabinet ministers named. Dan Lorentz returns as Seneschal, Bob Murphy becomes Foreign Minister, and John Jahn as War Minister (effective the following month).
  • 1/26/1983/IV – Edgewood Proclamation. Talossa assumes defined shape closely resembling modern borders.

Establishment Era (Cünstavalità Atx) (1983- 1990)

Many of the myths and traditions that would later define the nation are established or sparked, while royal power is decreased tremendously in deferment to the increasing importance of the citizenry to Talossa as democracy is introduced.

  • 5/1/1983/IV – Theft of the flag of Talossa; Holiday of Hatred established.
  • 5/22/1984/V – Robert I announces the Berber Hypothesis.
  • 10/16/1984/V – The first major media article on Talossa is published, by Seneschal Dan Lorentz in the Milwaukee Sentinel. The date of publication is commemorated to this day as Publicity Day.
  • 12/26/1984/VI – The Ziu is created by Robert I; the Senäts is appointed by the King and the Cosâ is elected. The Senäts remains empty and is not used.
  • 5/12/1985/VI – A 1985 Organic Law is established by the King; the rambling document grants veto authority to Robert I on every aspect of Talossa and is still superseded by the first Constitution, but sets up the Ziu and other traditions.
  • 7/22/1985/VI – Elections become more free, as non-votes cease to be automatic votes for the Robert I.
  • 1/1/1986/VII – Vuode Crisis: Premier Dan Lorentz vows to secede Vuode from Talossa.
  • 3/10/1986/VII – Vuode Crisis ends upon public referendum about Vuode’s future.
  • 1/10/1987/VIII – Robert I clarks a referendum to name Robert Dobberpuhl, recent immigrant to Talossa, as the new King to try to defer calls for full democracy.
  • 2/11/1987/VIII – After the referendum returns a slight majority in favor of Dobberpuhl, he is sworn in as Robert II. The Constitution is declared void.
  • 3/29/1987/VIII – A Lorentz government deposes Robert II and enacts strong strictures on royal power, beginning the brief and unofficial "Peculiar Republic" period of Talossa.
  • 8/15/1987/VIII – Sandee Prachel becomes Talossa's first female Seneschal.
  • 8/24/1987/VIII – After a referendum on the topic, Florence Yarney (formerly Robert I's English teacher in high school) is sworn in as King Florence I. Five-month "Peculiar Republic" ends.
  • 9/1/1987/VIII – The first Clark (legislative agenda and report) is compiled, named for the shop (Clark Graphics) where they were photocopied.
  • 10/1/1987/IX – King Florence I is retitled Queen Florence I by the Cosa after briefly being officially Kingess Florence I. The citizenship essay "What Talossa Means To Me" is established by an act of Cosa, and all new citizens are required to purchase Robert I's book The History of Talossa.
  • 2/27/1988/IX – Florence I abdicates, and Robert I is restored to the throne with limited powers in the Restoration.
  • 6/24/1988/IX – Creation of the 1988 Constituziun by Robert I, Dan Lorentz, Andrew Wozniack, John Jahn, and Bob Murphy. King’s power is limited into narrow channels of veto and the Seneschal acquires the power of Prime Dictates.
  • 25/26/1989/XI – Tenth anniversary of Talossa's founding.
  • 2/14/1990/XI – A direct mail campaign by John Jahn's Talossan Nationalist Party marks the advent of modern electioneering in Talossa.

Quiet Era (Þagal Atx) (1990-1994)

One of the most serious periods of general inactivity and diminishment of interest in Talossa, marked by a series of failing governments. Several scandals occur, thanks in part to the necessity of placing new and untested – but active - citizens into high positions.

  • 1 April 1990/XI – A longer period of general inactivity begins with the nation’s first Vote of No Confidence, ousting Seneschal Harry Wozniak.
  • 15 November 1990/XI – The National Destiny Referendum of Robert I asks Talossa whether the status quo should be maintained under the Constituziun, the country should return to a dictatorship, or if Talossa should be dissolved. Voters affirm the status quo, but the move sparks little interest.
  • 13 August 1991/XI – Robert I offers the Covenant of Rights and Freedoms as a referendum, and it passes.
  • 30 October 1991/XI – The Cosa passes reforms that permit the elimination of “dead citizens” from the rolls.
  • 14 January 1992/XII – After the introduction of write-in votes and some subsequent joke votes for "Mickey Mouse", Dan Lorentz and Josh Macht register the Mickey Mouse Movement and claim the votes in the first instance of Joke Maneuvering.
  • 1 April 1992/XII – Seneschal John Jahn dissolves the government to avoid an incipient Vote of No Confidence due to political maneuvering by Robert I.
  • 9 April 1992/XII – Talossa recognizes the new province of Bradford, formed by the Harry Wozniak, Bob Murphy, and Dan Lorentz.
  • 1 June 1992/XII – Seneschal Tom Buffone is voted No Confidence after refusing to fill his Cosa seats or engage in any activity as Seneschal. Buffone claims he did not authorize the issuance of a Clark, so the vote was illegal. The Cort Pü Inalt upholds his petition, but orders another vote. Buffone remains in office.
  • 21 June 1992/XII – Robert I proposes a referendum to settle the question of peculiarism versus derivatism, but while it achieves a majority it fails to get a supermajority and become law, leaving the matter unsettled.
Memorable Words of Talossan Monarchs

“I am King of a nation of dreamers, but I cannot be King of every dream.”
Robert I

“I am a friend of small, furry animals.”
Robert II

"Call me the king of swat, the king of rock and roll, and the King of Talossa.”
Florence I

"What Talossa tells us now, in her falsely-rumoured twilight, is that the greatest irony of Talossan history, perhaps, is that for some, Talossa is far too ‘real’ for their tastes.”
Robert I

“May Talossa survive this government!”
Robert I

  • 31 October 1992/XII – Second Vuode Crisis: Robert I declares that if the Seneschal did not recognize Talossa as a real country, then he could not object to his secession from it with his home province. In retaliation, Seneschal Buffone declares that if Robert I was seceding, then he was also automatically abdicating.
  • 21 November 1992/XII – Second Vuode Crisis ends after twenty-one days after the Cort Pü Inalt issued a binding but (to King Robert's mind) unpersuasive ruling declaring Talossa inherently derivativist and thus that the secession of Vuode had been unlawful and was null and void. Robert I is declared a traitor and penalized with a removal of voting privileges for one Clark.
  • 1 May 1993/XIII – After an incredible effort at raising votes, the Robert I's Progressive Conservative Party obtains a supermajority of seats in the Cosa despite lingering accusations of fraud. The resulting Cosa votes the King a unilateral line-item veto, power to choose an heir without approval, and institutes the modern Three Strikes rule.
  • 1 August 1993/XIII – Maritiimi Province is joined with Port Maxhestic to form Maritiimi-Maxhestic.
  • 14 October 1993/XIII – Record low turnout in election with only eleven votes received – less than half the votes of the previous election.
  • 30 July 1994/XIV – Momgate: Dave Kuenn attempts to send out a mailer in violation of a Robert I law requiring political advertisements to be registered with the Chancery; the Cort Pü Inalt throws out the law in favor of mail privacy. Robert I uses the ruling to issue a referendum without having to inform the opposition and eliminate the loophole which permitted Momgate in the first place. Later investigation would lead to censure of Kuenn and exposure of voter fraud on his part.

Internet Era (Inter'riet Atx) (1995-2003)

Talossa goes online and explodes into a drastically changed country, gaining an enormous amount of new citizens and becoming dependent on electronic versions of previous traditional institutions.

  • 21 August 1995/XV – Talossa goes online, getting its first email address.
  • 1 December 1995/XV – Senäts is restored to power, as a bar to a potential influx of new citizens.
  • 15 January 1996/XVI – Talossa's webpage goes online for the first time.
  • 1 February 1996/XVI – Chris Collins becomes the first Cybercit.
  • 10 April 1996/XVI – Støtanneu goes online.
  • 14 December 1996/XVI – First accusations against Robert I of having "pocket votes" during the first election over the Internet.
  • 6 July 1997/XVII – The Organic Law, primarily authored by Matthias Muth and Evan Gallagher, is overwhelmingly approved by referendum. It introduces the "Real Cosa" of 20 seats. The date is later commemorated with an official government holiday.
  • 1 September 1998/XIX – Matt Dabrowski's citizenship application is rejected in the first known refusal of a citizenship request. Dabrowski's widely known inclination towards the Progressive Conservatives is a major factor in his rejection; a strong tradition will develop against pre-citizenship recruitment by political parties (or "Broosking" as it will later be called).
  • 21 March 1999/XX – Semi-Permeable Wall Act comes into effect despite Robert I's efforts against it, ending Talossa's long association and difficulties with micronations.
  • 26 December 1999/XXI – Twentieth anniversary of Talossa's founding.
  • 4 December 2002/XXI – Robert I departs the Progressive Conservatives, which had dominated Talossan politics ceaselessly and overwhelmingly since 1993. He and Wes Erni found La Mhà Nheagrâ.
  • 10 January 2003/XXII – Progressive Conservative support plummets; it remains the largest party, but brand-new party Mhà Nheagrâ takes almost as many votes. Robert I declares that this proves that there are no "pocket votes", not recognizing the irony of his stance.
  • 14 October 2003/XXII – The "Real Cosa" is eliminated and the 200-seat Cosa is returned. Mhà Nheagrâ now takes a near-majority and is the largest party.

Abdication Era (Axhitaziun Atx) (2004-2006)

This period was marked by increasing civil strife, including the mass defection of many citizens to the new micronation of the Republic of Talossa and culminating in the Great Abdication.

  • 22 November 2003/XXII – Frenette Incident: Secretary of State Martin-Pierre Frenette strips Gary Cone of his seats and gives them to Ieremiac'h Ventrutx in the face of questionable accusations of fraud, thereby giving the Progressive Conservatives a majority and the Mhà Nheagrâ-Zefençadeirs del Päts Talossán coalition a minority. The Cort Pü Inalt rules the action illegal and reverses it, putting the Mhà Nheagrâ- Zefençadeirs del Päts Talossán back in power. Controversy divides the nation.
  • 25 November 2003/XXII – Noodles Summit: Internal peace is achieved with an agreement to transition to a Mhà Nheagrâ government provided Robert I resigns his seats and the Organic Law be amended to keep the monarch from the legislature permanently.
  • 1 June 2004/XXIII – While Robert I vacations, Ieremiac'h Ventrutx, Tamorán dal Navâ, Michael Pope, Andrew Lowry, Jeffrey Ragsdale, Andrea Thompson, Lisa Skovalia, Gregory Tisher, Gjermund Higraff, Uglhán Cruceatúl, and Matthias Muth leave Talossa and join with Penguinean Miestrâ Schivâ to form the Republic of Talossa. They proclaim the "secession" of Maritiimi-Maxhestic, Cézembre, Maricopa, and Florencia. They are soon joined by Ian Anglatzara and Martin-Pierre Frenette. The Talossan domain (talossa.com) – administered by Frenette - is changed to the Republic webpage, and all citizens of the Kingdom are banned from the usurped Wittenberg.
  • 14 June 2004/XXIII – Wittenberg is restored in a different location. By-elections fill vacant positions and immigration requirements are lowered.
  • 10 September 2004/XXIII – Louis, Robert I's adopted grandson, is named heir by Robert I and confirmed by the Ziu.
  • 9 December 2004/XXIII – [[Fritz Buchholtz[[ immigrates, and becomes the center of a new influx of citizenry.
  • 26 December 2004/XXIV – Twenty-fifth anniversary of Talossa’s founding.
  • 19 April 2005/XXIV – Government of the United States "recognizes Talossan sovereignty", when the name of the nation “Talossa” is trademarked by Robert I.
  • 13 August 2005/XXIV – Months of contention come to a head, when after having initiatives defeated in the Ziu on several occasions, Robert I demands the membership rolls of Fritz Buchholtz's Conservative Loyalist Party and is refused.
  • 15 August 2005/XXIV – The Great Abdication: Robert I abdicates the throne for the sixth and final time and renounces his citizenship. King Louis I succeeds him to the throne. Robert is followed in renunciation by several other longtime citizens.
  • 14 September 2005/XXIV – Madison brings an ex parte suit (Erni v. Talossa) seeking to overturn many citizenships issued under the direction of Buchholtz as Minister of Immigration. The Cort Pü Inalt upholds the actions of the minister and rules against Robert Madison's ex parte suit. In response, Madison declared Talossa "dead".
  • Late 2005-2006 - Multiple amendments to Organic Law and legislative reforms are proposed and established that restrict the power of the monarch and securing Talossa as a true constitutional monarchy with an apolitical head of state. As part of this process, the royal household and the cabinet ministries are also reorganized, the immigration process is changed, the Hopper is established.
  • 29 November 2006/XXV – In response to a request from his family, the Ziu, acting as guardian of the minor King Louis I, abdicates the throne on his behalf. With no heir, it remains empty and Gregory Rajala is named regent by the court.
  • December 2006-March 2007 - Debate rages in Talossa over the question of the vacant throne. The governing CLP hold out hope that an Old Growth citizen (or a reformed Ben Madison) could eventually take the throne and argue it be held in regency until that time. The argument of converting the Kingship to an elected office is also made by some in the CLP. The CLP's coalition partner, the RUMP, advocates following the Organic Law's mandate that a new King be elected. The difference in opinion leads to many CLP Cosa members switching parties, giving the RUMP a working majority in the Cosa, though confidence in the government of CLP Prime Minister Sam Tyler is still upheld. With no Old Growther interested in taking the throne, Distain Lord Hooligan and others propose that the Ziu nominate John Woolley. The nomination goes before the electorate for ratification.

Modern Era (Actüell Atx) (2007-)

  • 14 March 2007/XXVI – John Woolley, now King John I, assumes the throne after a national referendum.
  • April 2007/XXVI - Fritz Buchholtz surprises the nation before elections to the 37th Cosa by declaring the dissolution of the CLP, which had governed Talossa since the Great Abdication. Some voters cast ballots for the CLP, ignorant of the declaration (the Cosa seats won by the defunct party are filled by royal appointment), and the CLP's coalition partner party the RUMP takes over the government, inaugurating a long "Era of Good Feelings" in which political opposition is minimal and fragmented.
  • 21 June 2007/XXVI - In response to the dissolution of the CLP, the Ziu creates the Order of the Cincinnatus to recognise the contributions to Talossa by the CLP and its leaders through its existence. Buchholtz, Danihel Laurier, Sam Tyler, Quedeir Castiglha, and Greg Rajala are given the award.
  • 21 March 2008/XVII - The Talossan space program is established with the creation of the Bureau of Space Exploration and Rocketry (BEER).
  • 25 April 2008/XVII - The renaming of Mussolini Province to Benito, which had been proclaimed by that province's legislature, is recognized and declared by a Prime Dictate.
  • 21 May 2008/XVII - The Cosa passes The Men In Black II Act, requiring each government to provide a budget and financial report.
  • 21 December 2008/XVIII - Talossa declares its adherence to the UN Charter, and its intention to seek membership the United Nations.
  • 21 April 2009/XVIII - The Court of Magistracy is established as an court inferior to the Cort Pü Inalt.
  • 21 May 2009/XVIII - Talossa declares its adherence to the agreements of the Geneva Conventions.
  • 19 January 2010/XIV - The Talossan landmark Grecian Delight is destroyed by arson. When the Cosa meets in May, the lost landmark is commemorated in Talossan law.
  • 1 December 2011/XXXII - "A Modest Proposal" - Miestrâ Schivâ, representing the foundering Republic of Talossa, delivers the famous request to begin negotiations that would dissolve the Republic and allow Republican Talossans to become citizens of the Kingdom.
  • 19 April 2012/XXXIII - Reunision unites Talossans in a single nation once more. The Republic of Talossa is formally dissolved and its citizens are expedited through the immigration process of the Kingdom using special legislation.
  • 1 June 2012/XXIII - On the eighth anniversary of the founding of the Talossan Republic, according to the terms of the Reunision agreement and the wishes of the Republican Talossan citizens who had been assigned to Maricopa province temporarily, the province of Fiova is established from territory donated by Maricopa and Maritiimi-Maxhestic, and Republican Talossans are reassigned to citizenship in the new province by special legislation. Istefan Perþonest is named the province's first Constable and Fiovans begin establishing provincial government.
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